Tournament of the Overpopulated
by Dezzie Chan
Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons! Mostly features Tekken characters. Part 5 is now UP! (As if it was being highly anticipated...)
1. Round 1! (Is It Over Yet?)

Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons!  
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!  
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...  
  
  
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:   
Tournament Of The OverPopulated   
  
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^  
  
  
As It Is Said… Let Mortal Kombat Begin!   
  
  
  
In the Booth  
  
A-Chan: Whoohoo!! (waves little flag reading "Amy") Welcome, ladies and gents and otherwise living organisms to the VS Battle of VS Battles, the Royale of Royales, the Matches of Matches, the—   
Jin: Can you speed it up? ^^;   
A-Chan: ^_^; Sure sure.. okay, welcome to theeee… (takes deep breath) Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers: Tournament Of The OverPopulated!   
Jin: Hai! (adjusts his headphones) Since I already am Amy's favorite character from all the above games to play as—   
A-Chan: Don't get too egotistical there, Jin, you're just most fun to watch.   
Jin: …I don't know how to answer to that. ^^;   
A-Chan: Well anyway… he's here 'cause it's my fanfic and I need a co-host who easily agrees with orders. Jin is such a wonderful mama's boy—er… assistant I decided he could be my co-host! So for the record.. I'm your play-by-play host, A-Chan and..   
Jin: I'm Kazama Jin, the co-host!   
A-Chan: So let's get this show on the road!   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Sho: …did someone say my name?   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: …okay first match!   
Jin: The first match is one we're positive people have been opting for, for a very long time, and we are glad to see it happen here! Folks, the legendary Kazuya Mishima (flag reading "YAY DAD!") VS Big-time Jerk-off (flag reading "YOU SHOT ME, YOU A-HOLE!") Heihachi Mishima!   
A-Chan: ; Rooting for someone inparticular?   
Jin: Of course not! I'm neutral.   
A-Chan: …   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Heihachi: Ha! Ha! Ha! Kazuya! You cannot beat me!   
Kazuya: We'll see about that…   
Heihachi: All right, then! Let's go!   
  
Heihachi launches into a kick using his evil wooden platforms, but Kazuya ducks. However, a duck is not enough, as wood collides with a gelled-over point of hair, the force of the blow breaking off the hardened hair like an icicle off a rooftop.   
  
Kazuya: GASP! My hair…!!   
Heihachi: Feel my wrath!   
  
Kazuya, in a blood rage, leaps up out of his ducking position and delivers a shower of punch combos and kick combos and family-meal combos (you want fries with that?) and sends Heihachi reeling for support.   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: Whoohoo! Did you see that clever delivery?!   
Jin: Well it's there in twenty minutes or your money back, so it has to be speedy!   
A-Chan: You bet, Jin.   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Kazuya stands ominously over Heihachi's bleeding body, and the fallen Mishima Corporate official weakly raises a hand.   
  
Heihachi: W…wait… Kazuya…!   
Kazuya: …what?   
  
Heihachi stands, suddenly in all black with stupid mask and wheezing breathing sounds.   
  
Heihachi: Kazuya… *wheeze* I am your father…   
Kazuya: …I already knew that.   
  
Kazuya grabs Heihachi by the hair and swings him 'round and 'round and docey do's until Heihachi's head is ripped off and his body sails into the benches, knocking Demitri and Ryu out of their seat.   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: What a show that was!   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Sho: …who said that?!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin is doing a funky victory dance all around the room as A-Chan flips through the papers to see who the next match is, and casts a sideways glance at him.   
  
A-Chan: …don't show too much enjoyment there, Jin.   
Jin: Nani? ^_^; Me?   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Sho: …someone is going to die.   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: Let's go to our next match!   
  
Jin retakes his seat and puts his headphones back on, smiling brightly after watching his grandfather bite the dust.   
  
A-Chan: Our next match is a crossover match—   
Jin: Someone's cross-dressing?! (covers his virgin eyes)   
A-Chan: ….crossover, Jin. Crossover. There is no explicit material besides blood, gore, and death in my fanfics.  
Jin: (uncovers his eyes) What a relief! Finally, a kid-safe fanfic!   
A-Chan: Uh huh… anyway, our next match is between Lei Wuloung and Nagisa.   
Jin: Nagisa? Never heard of her.   
A-Chan: Oh, no, no, Jin! Even though the name is traditionally a lady's Japanese name… Nagisa is a male.   
Jin: O o;   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Paul: Say wha, hmmm?! I thought that Nagisa person was cute, mmkay?! Thazzth'last time I trust Eiji's Homemade List of Japanese Baby Names!!   
Eiji: (sniffling) …it was a good list…   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
Canned laughter.   
  
A-Chan: Too bad Eiji didn't realize Nagisa, who is very much a male cop of Japan, is someone from his own game!   
  
More canned laughter.   
  
A-Chan: (glaring at Jin) turn that off!   
Jin: (closes can) Sorry, it's just so fun!   
A-Chan: Save it.   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Josh dressed as Lei: haha.. uh… ching chong wang… ok   
Nagisa: …what the hell is this?   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: …I forgot to mention!   
Jin: (groan)   
A-Chan: Lei refused to make a cameo on my ridiculous fanfic, so Josh will be our stand-in Lei!   
Jin: There goes the neighborhood.   
A-Chan: Nope, there goes the ratings!   
Jin: We're getting ratings?!?   
  
Jin freaks out and knocks over the can of laughter (the top falling off and the chorus of laughter bubbling out) just as Josh attempts to flex his "muscles".   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Josh as Lei: haha.. HEY THAT'S NOT FUNNY   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
Jin: Just start the match!   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Yifan: YIFAN GOOONG (gazelle runs and then leaps up and crashes into the Gong, signaling the match's start)   
  
Nagisa takes out a gun and starts circling Josh as Josh stands there like a gork.   
  
Josh as Lei: haha.. ching choouuuu weeeeiiii wang. You cannot beat my mad skillz.. haha   
  
Nagisa becomes angry and throws the gun to the side.   
  
Nagisa: All right, let's do this like real men, no guns, then!   
Josh: haha… uh… ok? I don't have a gun anyway… haha   
  
Nagisa, without warning, jumps at Josh, his body in poise for a left hook.   
  
Josh as Lei: I don't know… what the hell?   
  
Nagisa pegs Josh hard, and since Josh was not built for this kind of hardcore punching action, his head flies off as Nagisa's fist connects, and goes flying into the benches again.   
  
Josh's head: haha.. ok wait no… HEY THAT'S NOT *gurgle*   
  
Josh's head eventually lands promptly on Morrigan's lap.   
  
Morrigan: …ew.   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan yawns, cuddling a teddy bear and Jin is mumbling in his sleep.   
  
Jin: (rolls over in his chair, his arm smacking A-Chan on the face) Mmm… five more minutes…   
  
A-Chan blinks out of her half-awake state and bursts into action.   
  
A-Chan: Wasn't that an exciting match?! I've never seen a more exciting match!! How totally kakkoii that was!!   
Jin: (yawns and stretches out, looking around) Did I miss something?   
A-Chan: Of course not!!   
Jin: Oh? Oh! Well, uh, yeah of course I didn't! I was awake the whole time, so, how could I have missed an--   
A-Chan: Well, Jin-chan, want to announce the next match?   
Jin: J-Jin-chan?!   
A-Chan: (cough) Jin-san? ^ ^;   
Jin: …okay, aheh… yeah… Well, hai, I'd love to announce the next match!   
A-Chan: Yes, yes, yes…   
Jin: Minna-san, our next match is the Battle of the Pretty-Boy Long-Haired Reddish-Blondes! Of course this means none other than—   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Ken: Who else?! It's me!!   
  
Ken flashes his best pretty-boy long-haired reddish-blonde smile.   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
Jin looks at A-Chan, who simply shrugs and grins nervously. Jin points to the paper and quietly asks something, and A-Chan urges him to say it.   
  
Jin: Uh… it's not that we forgot about Ken… it's uh… no… we remembered him, sure, we did… uh… (apparently looking around for something) We decided… uh… Ken-fans worldwide—   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
Laughter erupts.   
  
Lee: Hah! They think people worldwide are gonna read this!!   
Sofia: HO HO HO! That stupid low-level fanfic writer believes this will even go beyond her friends!   
Iori: Hahahahaha! Baka! What a joke!   
Zangeif: WHAHA!   
Rugal: WOOOO . . .   
Demitri: Vhaha! Vhat a viot, vhat a viot!   
Josh's head: haha   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan is crying and whining that everyone always picks on her, Jin is trying to urge her to pull herself together, and suddenly he has an idea! Finding a book under the desk. Jin discovers one of his mama's boy… er… assistant-like plans, flipping through one of the Mishima School textbooks for sneaky excuses.   
  
Jin: By saying worldwide fans! …uh… (checks a page) We were not implying that this fanfic would go worldwide…! We were simply… uh… (glances at the page again) implying that Ken has worldwide fans!   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
All: Oh. Well!   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan sighs in relief, and pats Jin on the back for a job well done. Jin smiles ^_^ and nods, sliding the book back under his chair for later reference. A-Chan recomposes herself.   
  
A-Chan: Anyway! The next match, as we said, is the Battle of the Pretty-Boy Long-Haired Reddish-Blondes, and if you didn't guess Ken on the first time, well let's tell you the real contestants! In the first corner… this lady-killer says his pretty boy looks and especially his rusty red hair color is what makes him who he is, and he wouldn't change it for the world! Ladies and gents, meet Korean Tae Kwon Do expert…   
Jin: No! It can't be…!   
  
Down in the Arena   
  
A spotlight suddenly showers it's light down into a corner of the arena, and standing there, one hand on his hip, goggles slicking back his hair, clad in a purple tank top, olive jeans covered by leather chaps, smirking ever-so arrogantly is...   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: Hwoarang!!   
Jin: GAH!! Him?! O ; How could he… why would he… I can't stand him!!   
A-Chan: Geez, Jin, cool it, you're steaming up the room!   
Jin: (with steam coming out his ears and his usual pale complexion ranging somewhere in 'tomato') Nani?! What do you mean?   
A-Chan: Eh heh! Never mind! Okay, okay, how about to cool off, you read the other opponent off and make him sound better than Hwoarang!   
Jin: (taking deep wheezing breaths) …o… okay… I'll do that… (takes the paper and calms himself down a bit) In... the other corner… (points to the opposite corner) …over there… is the other pretty boy red-head type blonde who had BETTER WIN (standing up) or else I will personally TEAR HIS SHRIEKING HEAD OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS!! You hear that?! Huh?! YOU BETTER WIN OR EL—   
A-Chan: (pulling Jin back down into his chair) That's enough announcing for you!   
Jin: (still breathing a little hard, his hands clenched into tight fists) …   
A-Chan: (clearing her throat) Anyway! This English… er… Scottish… uh… (looks at the page with a confused expression) …WHATEVER! This swordsman credits a lot of his skill to his best friend, a young Japanese man and his brother that he trained with, the other star of this show--   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Sho: God dammit!!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: ^^; Yeah, well. Let me introduce…!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Another spotlight crosses down into the arena, lighting the other corner to reveal a young man with a very conceited posture, shoulders leaning back covered by a red jacket and a hand rested on a sword, none other than--   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Kayin Amoh!   
Jin: (not quite as calm as he should be) You better beat him, blondie, you hear me?! If you don't, I am going to totally rearrange your face when I get the chance!!   
A-Chan: ^_^;; Okay Jin.. calm down... It's time to start the match!   
Jin: ...my heart overflows with joy.   
A-Chan: *sighs* Let the match begin!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Hwoarang: All right, Scot.. er.. Brit.. (rolls his eyes) Whatever the hell you are - you are mine!   
Kayin: (laughs) I don't think so!   
Hwoarang: (stares at Kayin with his head tilted to the side slightly) Uh... your.. hair..   
  
Everyone stares at Kayin's hair, which is flashing from reddish to blondish.   
  
Kayin: (blinks) Oh.. oh, no... it's not doing that thing again, is it?   
Hwoarang: (grinning) Sucks for you, man.   
Kayin: (now extremely pissed) Ahhh, that's it!! You're going down!   
  
Kayin blindly charges in with his sword drawn, and nimbly leaps into the air. Hwoarang, not visibly, is a little bit intimidated fighting someone other than Yoshimitsu with a sword, and evades to the left as Kayin slams the sword down into the ground, jamming it into the ring.   
Everyone stops and stares as Kayin struggles to pry his sword out of the ground.   
  
Hwoarang: God, that's rough. (scratches the back of his head, then shrugs)   
  
Hwoarang taps Kayin on the shoulder, and then quickly takes a few steps back. When Kayin turns around to shriek "WHAT?!" Hwoarang brings one foot forward to kick at Kayin's lower side, and then bring his leg up and slam his foot into Kayin's jaw. Perfectly executed -- sneaky tactics. ...well, not really. Kayin is thrown away from his sword by the impact, skidding a bit on the ground.He is about to get back up, but Hwoarang runs over, and in a Tekken-y fashion, knocks him back to the ground and begins repeatedly punching him in the face.   
The crowd goes wild.   
Just as Hwoarang delivers the final punch, however, he stops as a loud crunching sound rings out as his hand meets Kayin's face, his expression changing from smug to pained. Everyone waits anxiously for something to happen.   
  
Hwoarang: That... mother... f*@#er... BIT ME!!   
  
Hwoarang immediately jumps to his feet, and hops around holding his hand. Kayin, in the mean time, spits out a few teeth.   
  
Kayin: I... fuhgot.. aboud the liddle iron clasthps.. on histh glovesth...   
  
Kayin falls over, knocked out cold from one too many hits to the head.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (drops to his knees) Is there no God?!?   
A-Chan: That would be a match! Hwoarang is theeeee winner! (Gong sounds and confetti flies around)   
Jin: (crying and whining while pounding on the floor) No! No! No! This is all a bad dream! A bad dream!!   
A-Chan: (leans over and pats Jin on the back) Ooh don't cry.. you look like a little girl..   
Jin: (straightens up and sits back down in his chair in a super-stoic fashion) Right.   
A-Chan: *sigh* Well, that's it for today! Join us again tomorrow for three totally new matches! And, if you feel like it...   
Jin: ...do I really have to do this?   
A-Chan: (faking a smile, through clenched teeth) _Yes_, you're the cuter one...!   
Jin: -_-; Okay, okay... Well, if you feel like it (points to a poll box in the corner) tell us who you think should be pinned against who, and why! Leave the rest up to us!   
A-Chan: It's like Celebrity Deathmatch, only stupider, badly written and now YOU can pick who fights who!   
Jin: 'Till next time, minna!  



	2. Enter the Blood Talon

Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons!  
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!  
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan, and Callie.. although she would argue differently!) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...  
  
  
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:   
Tournament Of The OverPopulated : PART 2!!  
  
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^  
  
  
  
In the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: (adjusts headphones) Greetings, fighting game fans!   
Jin: Salutations! (adjusts his headphones and mic, gets major feedback and falls over backwards, twitching)   
A-Chan: (sweatdrops) I told Kuma to fix that...   
Jin: *blink* ...who?   
  
In the Technical Support Room   
  
Kuma: (growls something and tries to press two broken wires together) Rar... (stops and starts to think about Panda, little hearts dancing around his head..) ...*sigh*... (something short-circuits in the background)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: (back upright in his seat) We have a great few matches ahead of us, but first, we have to introduce one of our new hosts!   
A-Chan: That's right! This is a good friend of mine, named Callie! She wanted to be here to see.. uh.. certain fighters! ^_^; Say hi, Callie!   
Callie: ...hey.   
A-Chan: So, Callie.. er.. C-Chan? No.. Callie.. do you like being here with the stars?   
Callie: Sure.   
A-Chan: Ready to meet your assistant?   
Callie: I guess.   
A-Chan: Okay.. come on out, Hwoarang!   
Hwoarang: (steps out of the background with his headphones hung around his neck) All right! Finally, I don't have to sit with all those losers down in the arena seats! (sits down in his neat wheely-chair and puts his arm around Callie) When do we begin?   
Callie: ... (faints)   
A-Chan: Oh, dammit.. Jin, be a darling and get a bucket of water, wouldn't you?   
Jin: ...   
A-Chan: ...Jin?   
Jin: ...   
A-Chan: ...Jin!! Water!! Now!!   
Jin: ...wha... what is HE.. doing here...?!   
Hwoarang: (looks over) ...   
Jin: ...   
Hwoarang: ...   
A-Chan: ...this is a VS battle for fighting games, not dots!!   
Jin: (jaw clenched) Fine.   
A-Chan: Awwww... Jin-chan... Do I sense some tension?   
Jin: (very forced)...no. None. At. All. (glares daggers at Hwoarang)   
Hwoarang: None here, either. Although I'd watch out, girl. If you're not careful you'll be missin' a host between matches, 'cause he'll have to call his mommy after every fight to assure her he's not hurt.   
Jin: ...(politely ignores Hwoarang)   
Hwoarang: Oooh, he's all stoic-like, huh? (grins) Well I -- OW!! (pounded over head with mallet)   
A-Chan: (putting mallet away) No taunting my co-host! Taunt your own!   
Jin: (pulls down lower eyelid and sticks his tongue out at Hwoarang)   
Hwoarang: (grumbles..)   
A-Chan: (throws bucket of water on Callie and sits back down) Now! Our next match is between two well-recognized members of the Fighting Game community, and we have them right here, right now, ready to prove who is best!! Ladies and gentlemen... in the red corner, the solitary and ever-wandering "Lone Wolf" of martial arts...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A spotlight swerves to one of the corners, revealing a young man, perhaps mid-twenties, his disshevelled blonde hair kept hidden under a red cap save for a long ponytail. He is simply clad in stonwash jeans, a white T-shirt and a red jacket; none other than --   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Terry Bogard!   
Callie: (smacks Amy upside the head) You got me wet! You bitch!   
A-Chan: Oww.. itai..   
Callie: It-what?   
A-Chan: Never mind...   
Jin and Hwoarang: In the blue cor--   
(beat)   
Jin: That's _my_ line.   
Hwoarang: Well then, how come I can see it written here on _my_ cue to announce the blue corner?   
Jin: (looks at A-Chan in hurt shock) You're letting HIM announce it?!   
A-Chan: No! I put it on your cue! (checks both cues) Ooooh... silly me! (laughs meekly) I accidently printed two of your cues!   
Jin and Hwoarang: (mutter something)   
Hwoarang: So, what do I do?   
A-Chan: Uh.. sit there and look good 'till I figure something out...   
Hwoarang: Cool. I'm good at that. (grins)   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Terry: Get on with the show, already!   
Sho: ... (balls hands into fists)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Okay, okay.. ^_^; Jin, announce it, please?   
Jin: Right! Ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner, the long-haired bleachy blonde, who we suspect is only in Fatal Fury to impress the lady audience and upset his would-be girlfriend, the pretty boy who could not be put in the previous match...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A twin spotlight laces over to the blue corner to reveal a young man with (as announced) long almost white-ish hair, in a white tank-top style shirt, and knee-high boots. He flips his hair over his shoulder in an almost arrogant gesture and then smirks at his opponent.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: Andy Bogard!   
A-Chan: Let the match be--   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
(the Fatal Fury/King of Fighters crowd begins booing)   
Joe: We already know Terry's better!   
Mai: *gasp* What are you talking about, Joe?! Andy's clearly the better one!   
Kim: I have fought Terry, and he is an excellent fighter! I am positive he is better than Andy!   
King (KOF): This match is pointless, Terry will win with barely any effort   
King (of Tekken): ...   
Kyo: I could probably beat them both..   
(everyone stares blandly at Kyo)   
Kyo: (coughs) But Terry would beat Andy hands down!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Why those impertinent little...   
Callie: They need to shut up. This match would be funny.   
Jin: (coughs) A-san?   
A-Chan: (grumbling incoherently, then suddenly in mock sweetness) Yeeees, Jin-chan?   
Jin: You... are the writer... why don't you threaten to um... you know... exercise your great powers upon them?   
Hwoarang: (scoffs) I'd just yell at 'em.   
A-Chan: (blinking) That's... brilliant!   
Jin: ^_^ I thought so.   
Hwoarang: (cough)Writer's pet(cough)   
A-Chan: (stands up on her chair to enhance her height and throws her arms up in the air) Now, hear this, ye video games! I am flesh and blood, while you are no more than so many concept sketches and CGI! When my mallet does pound into someone's head, it is from force and impact, not from the game engine telling you to fall over! When I walk and the Earth does tremble and rumble, it is from foot hitting ground, not from sound effect!   
Jin: I thought it was from too much junkfood... (receives an almighty smack from A-Chan's mallet) Itai! (rubs his head) I was kidding...   
A-Chan: Like I said about that mallet...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
(No one is really appearing impressed)  
  
Everyone: ...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: And furthermore!! (eyes become dark, and lowers her voice) When I sit at this keyboard, and decide it is time to write, I control your every aspect, your every detail and movement, no matter how slight...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Lord Raptor: (pinky twitches) ...eh? Whot, now? (hair begins to sway in an imaginary wind)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: For me, you shall talk, for me, you shall walk, you shall bend over backwards until your head is propped cleanly upon your back..   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Eddy (Tekken3): (bends over backwards until his head is propped on his back) ...'dis reminds me of one of my moves, mon!   
  
  
A-Chan: At a tap of my keyboard, you will do anything I want you to do!! (lightning crashes in the background)   
Jin: Oh man, oh man, oh man, I never should have suggested this...   
Hwoarang: You are s-such an idiot if y-you're s-s-sca-scar.. afraid of this... (hiding under his wheely-chair and trembling like an autumn leaf in a squall)   
A-Chan: I am the Alpha!!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Guile: (is suddenly bald with an odd oriental ponytail) AGH! My majestic buzzcut!   
Chaos: (has a buzzcut) Wha..?! Ha, ha!! HAAA!! ...whaaaatttt?!?!?!?   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
A-Chan: I am the Omega!!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Sofia: (boobs pop) OH!! (covers her.. uh.. lack-thereof)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: I control the vertical! I control the horizontal! I con-- (gets Jin's hand smacked over her mouth)   
Jin: A-san, you had them at the breasts popping.. they no longer doubt your authority.. (stares forlornly at the group of mourners [all male, mind you])   
A-Chan: (removes Jin's hand from her big mouth) Okay, cool.   
Hwoarang: So, do we get this show on the road or what?   
A-Chan: Absolutely!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Terry pulls down his cap a bit and smirks.   
  
Terry: All right, Andy, I ain't gonna hold back!   
Andy: And neither will I!   
  
Andy flips his hair over his shoulder, and motions for Terry to "come get some". However, the two just stand there a minute, smirking.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: ...is anything going to happen?   
Hwoarang: These two don't know the meaning of "after you," do they?   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Terry and Andy charge at exactly the same time, Andy leaping into the air, and Terry becoming airborne as well. Terry's tennis shoe connects with Andy's cheek, and Andy's foot hits hard into Terry's upper chest. Andy uses the impact to propel backwards into a backflip, landing in a crouch. Terry takes the hit full on, and stumbles back a little, regaining his composure in little more than a second.   
  
Terry: Wow, not bad, Andy!   
Andy: You're not bad either..   
Joe: Do they *always* exchange the exact same blather?! (cups hands around mouth) Awww, COME ON! Fight it out, don't discuss it!   
Mai: You're one to talk, Joe.   
Joe: ; Heeeey, watch it!!   
Cammy: Do *THEY* always exchange the exact same blather, too?   
Eddy (Tekken): (shakes head)   
  
Terry runs at Andy again, Andy returning the charge (don't they always?) and a vicious exchange begins. Whenever Terry lands a punch to the jaw, Andy will follow through on a punch to the cheek. If Andy completed a kick to the clavicle, you can bet Terry successfully whooped Andy one in the kisser. You know how those two boys are...! Andy eventually backs off a little, and Terry grins.   
Terry: Aw, Andy, are you giving up already?   
Andy: No, Terry... I am not!! In fact, our fighting has just helped me develop a new secret technique with which I will beat you! HYYYYAAAHHHHH!!!   
  
Andy glows sort of a pinkish color and begins to give off a Saturday Night Fever quality strobe.   
  
Terry: Oh wow! I've also completed a new secret technique! ARRRGGGGHHH!!!   
  
Terry glows bluish and starts to reflect like a disco ball.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: (hypnotized by the glow) Pretty.. lights... must dance...   
Jin: (swirly eyed) I don't know how to dance... ...but I must..   
Hwoarang: (gawking) I... I have the fever!   
A-Chan, Jin and Hwoarang: DISCO FEVER!! (bust out in their 1970's club clothes and suede platforms to groove all night long)   
Callie: ....oh my GOD. You guys aren't serious.   
A-Chan: (doing 'the point') Lop some boogie!   
Jin: (in the white open shirt complete with gold medallion) I am the soooouuuul train!   
Hwoarang: (with big orange afro) Oh yeah... dance, mama!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Terry and Andy are completely charged, and everyone else in the arena and booth (except Callie) are doing some 1970-something boogie woogie. And I'll bet you laughed when people said disco was coming back. Terry smirks at Andy one last time, and then starts to run for him. Andy doesn't wait for an invitation (actually, he doesn't even wait for Terry to start running, he takes off at the same time).   
  
Terry: SUPER DUPER 'WORD TO YOUR MAMA' BURN KNUCKLE!!   
Andy: SAKURA KIREI KEN!!   
  
Andy, glowing a nice neon fuschia, leaps into the air, his leg looking as if it were consumed in rose-hued flames, and Terry stays earthbound, his hand glowing a brilliant blue, evident of a "Burn Knuckle" preparation. Recipe for disaster? We think so.   
Terry moves away from Andy's incoming "cherry blossom" foot at just the right angle to dodge it by a spare inch. His super duper word to your mama burn knuckle does not miss, however, and ends up getting landed in a ... painful place. An opening's an opening, they say!   
  
Andy: NOOOOooooOOooOOooOoOOoOoOoOOOoOOOoooooooooo...!!   
Terry: Ah-hah! I win!   
  
Andy falls to the ground in a convulsing heap, as Terry takes off his hat and throws it in the air victoriously. Now that the glowing is over, the spell over the arena seems to be broken, and everyone returns to normal (personality and clothing). A medical team comes out and hauls Andy onto a stretcher as Mai cries about how she had wanted kids.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Wow... what a match! One we'll never see the likes of again, most likely.   
Hwoarang: Hopefully...   
Jin: (supressing laughter) Heh... hey, Hwoarang, you had a 'fro...   
Hwoarang: Grr... shut up!!   
A-Chan: It's a good thing everyone else was dancing, too...   
Callie: (to herself) No... it's a good thing I had my camera.   
A-Chan, Jin and Hwoarang: What...?!   
Callie: Uh... (looks from left to right nervously) I could sing in my pajamas.   
A-Chan: ...of course.   
Jin: Next match?   
A-Chan: (nods) Callie, why don't we announce it?   
Callie: Okay. (takes card and clears throat) (takes on very expressive, thundering announcer voice) OOOKKKKAAAYYY!!!!!!! NOW!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin the red corner....!!! This is a man who lives off the smell of gasoline and a large pepperoni; hold the anchovis!! He's been training his WHOOOOOOOOOooooooooooole life to BE!! THE!! BEST!!! Ladies and gentlemen...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
The spotlight swivels to the red corner to reveal a man in his mid-forties built like a truck, with a stupid grin, cracking his knuckles. One could also note his column hair defies gravity. Well, who else COULD it be but...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Callie: PAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUL PHOOOOOOEEEEENIIIIIIX!!   
Jin and Hwoarang: (stare blankly) Wow, that girl can announce...   
A-Chan: (nervously, and thinking to herself I can't top her mad as a weasel in a blender announcing skills...!) Um... okay... the opponent!! In the blue corner, wielding only his worldly spork as a weapon, and his.... uh... (looks at her co-hosts for support)   
Jin, Hwoarang and Callie: (look helplessly at each other then shrug)   
A-Chan: Okay... scratch that! Wielding only, and we mean ONLY his worldly spork as a weapon, meet a guy who is willing to take on a world-class martial artist with little more than bare hands!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
The spotlight criss crosses to the blue corner, where a brown, slight curly-haired dude with an average sized spork in hand, is waiting patiently for the match to begin.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Bryan!   
(beat)   
Jin: That's Bryan? Bryan Fury?   
Hwoarang: No, are you blind, that's not Tekken Bryan! That's just some... guy...   
Jin: ...uh huh?   
Hwoarang: Who is that?   
A-Chan: Ugh, don't ask, he wanted to be written in, so I gave him a chance! (batting eyes and clasping hands girlishly) Can ya blame me for having a heart of gold? Heey! (laughs) He might win, ya know? (grinning as cutely as possible)   
Jin: (exchanges an incredulous glance with Hwoarang) Okay, A-san, if you say so...   
Hwoarang: (shrugs) Why not?   
A-Chan: Yay!   
Callie: Uhhhhhhhh-LLLET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUMBLLLLLEEEEEEE!!!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Paul laughs heartily.   
  
Paul: Hey there, junior! You can't beat me, hmmmm?!?   
Bryan: um... i can try...   
Paul: 'm gunna beat you senseless!! Hmmm!?? Whatcha think of that, huh?   
Bryan: i think i'm ready to spork you...   
Paul: (blinks) Whatarrayasayin', there? What?   
  
Bryan leaps into the air, and does a double flip with a twist, becoming parallel to the wall in his flight. While twisting and turning in the air, he thrusts the spork down towards the ground. Paul is dumbfounded by the handy acrobatics, and just stands there, watching. As Bryan sails over the top of Paul, he uses some unforseen power to thrust himself back towards the ground, beginning to spin like a top on it's axis. The spork entangles itself in Paul's hairspray-ridden cylinder of hair, and begins to twirl around and around and around with the force of Bryan whirl.   
  
Paul: Oh no, hmm! My purdy mane, know whadem sayin'?!   
Everyone: Not really..   
  
Bryan is gaining momentum, and spinning faster and faster all the time, Paul's hair becoming even more wrapped about the plastic enigma of eating utensils. At some length, Bryan is going too fast for his body's packaging to handle, and explodes into many many bits of flesh and blood, splattering about the arena. A collective "ew" is issued. However, Paul does not go unaffected. The force of Bryan's explosion yanks the spork away with his hand, yanking every strand of hair from Paul's head.   
  
Paul: (standing there bald) Oh no...!! (feels his Mr. Clean 'do) My hair...! I... I surrender, hmmm?!?   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: (consulting her rule book) What happens if the opponent dies before the other surrenders...?   
Jin: (consulting handbook from the first half of the Tournament) I... I don't know...!   
Callie: Let the dead guy win. That way we don't have to pay anyone the victory money.   
A-Chan and Jin: (blink)   
A-Chan: Frugal and greedy... but smart!   
Jin: Isn't that kind of... (world cracks like a shattered mirror as everything drones to black and red) DECEIVING?!?!!? (woman's scream and car crash in the background)   
A-Chan: (blinks at Jin, and sweatdrops) ^_^; Oh, Jin-chan! That's not deception! It's... ...conservative business tactics!   
Jin: (looks at A-Chan) ...reeeaally...?   
A-Chan: Um... (pause) ...yes!   
Jin: Well... okay...   
A-Chan: ^_^;;   
Callie: My cue says there's one more match. Is there?   
A-Chan: Oh yeah! There is! And a whopper of one, I might say!   
Jin: Oh, A-san! (gets on hands and knees and begs) Can I announce it, please please, can I? ( flashes the big, brown puppy-dog eyes)   
A-Chan: (blinks and stares a minute in silence)   
Jin: ...A-san?   
A-Chan: Awwwwwww!! You're so cuuuuuute!!! (drops down and huggles Jin for all he's worth, causing a mob of angry fan girls to assault her with rabid mongooses)   
Jin: (looks forlornly at the mass of begrudged, chewed up cloth and headphones that is A-Chan) Gomen nasai, A-san.. my fault...   
A-Chan: ..t.. think nothin' of it, sweetie.. go announce the match.. (collapses in a twitching collaboration of garbled nerves)   
Jin: (scratches the back of his head) Is she gonna be okay?   
Callie: (shrugs)   
Hwoarang: (pokes A-Chan, and then props her up in her chair) I think she'll pull through. But mongoose bites can be pretty nasty, mind you.   
Jin: (looking annoyed) And how would _you_ know that?   
Hwoarang: (caught off-guard) I, uh... (tugs lightly on his collar) I don't... I mean... I don't know. (grins nervously) Guessing? Guessing..?   
Jin: (shakes his head and takes out the announcement cue) In the red corner! With her long red hair, and deadly accuracy with a fan, she's been called the Ninja Queen of Japan! (covers mic) ...she has?   
Callie: Keep announcing. (glances grimly at A-Chan) ...Amy would want it that way.   
Jin: (holding back a sob [really, he was gonna cry, he was upset... really...]) Y... you're right.. (uncovers mic) She iiiiiiis...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A red spotlight finds its way to the corner, to reveal a young woman in a rather revealing pink get-up, a fan in one hand, and trust us; she was bouncing up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: Mai Shiranui!   
Hwoarang: Daaamn, those are some huge...   
Jin: (glares at Hwoarang and shakes his head in warning)   
Hwoarang: ....fans.   
Jin: That's right... you admire those fans, now..   
Hwoarang: I got enough fans of my own.. (grins smugly)   
Jin: (thinking to himself Moron...) In the blue corner, she claims she could whip the guy of her choice, and she means it, she really does have a whip..   
Hwoarang: Kink-y...   
Jin: No, really.. (coughs) Contestant 2 is..!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A blue spotlight lights a woman with blonde hair held up in a ponytail, and the kinkiest black leather dress you ever did see in a fighting game. She smiles, accentuating blood red lips, and cracks her whip to the side.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: Sofia!   
Hwoarang: How does a woman handle things that size?   
Jin: (looks at Hwoarang and shrugs) I never understand how women can fight with them at all, really...   
Hwoarang: I know.. I'd die if I had to try and fight with those in my way all the time.. Dude, I'd trip all over myself!   
Jin: Yeah, it's a good thing guys aren't expected to wear high heels..   
Hwoarang: I'll say...   
Jin: And finally! In the green corner!   
Hwoarang: Whoa, a three-way match?   
Jin: That would be what it says... with a lust beyond belief, she claims it's just the way of her species, and a really cool set of wings, this figure head of female fighters believes it's okay to change your lower body into a drill or your wings into blades and still be sexy...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
The last spotlight shines down upon a woman with hair to match her corner color, and two black bat wings spread behind her. A matching set of smaller wings juts out of her hair, and she is displaying an arrogant smirk.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: Morrigan Aensland!   
Hwoarang: Geez! Those things are humongous! Man, that can't be normal...   
Jin: (covering mic) Must you point out every little detail? She's not the ONLY girl with a set of them in that caliber, ya know...   
Hwoarang: Okay, granted, but they're HUGE! See, those are another thing I couldn't fight with, dude, no matter HOW hard I try.   
Jin: Well, some guys have pulled it off before.   
Hwoarang: (rolls his eyes) Some freaky-ass guys, if you ask me..   
Jin: (narrows eyes) My father was one of them...   
Hwoarang: So were you, heh heh..   
Jin: (scoffs) There's nothing wrong with having wings..   
Hwoarang: Okay, okay, let's get to the damn match, huh?   
Jin: All right.. Callie?   
Callie: (clears throat) Uhhhhhhhh-LEEEEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMBLLLLEEEEE!!!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Sofia: Ho ho ho! Mai! It's too bad your little boy-toy got a hard peg in his assets...   
Morrigan: (chuckling) That's right... you have such nice child-bearing hips...   
Mai: Grrr... at least the writer doesn't cause one of my boobs to explode! (smirks and nods matter-of-factly) Guess you can't do that with the REAL ones!   
  
One of Mai's boobs pops.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: I'm.. not quite that.. unconscious... (Fanboys everywhere are gonna hate me after Part 2 ^_^;)   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Mai: Oh, now my straps don't fit right!   
Morrigan: Oh, poor little ninja girl... Time to finish you off!   
  
Morrigan leaps into the air, and doing a quick spin her lower half transforms into a spinning drill, which she launches at Mai full force. The kunoichi nimbly hops to the side, and launches a few fans at the succubus, who sweeps one of her wings in front of her to deflect the onslaught. Sofia, not wanting to be left out of the ho-down (really..) sends her whip towards Morrigan's exposed back, and is able to put a nice slice between the shoulder blades.   
  
Ladies and gentlemen, Morrigan is pissed.   
  
She reels around and launches a throbbing projectile of energy at Sofia, knocking her over on contact. Mai then does her little Dragon Fire Dance (Oh, I don't know the name of it and I'm not looking it up! Nyah!) Morrigan takes this hit in the back as well, and is in considerable pain for someone of her expertise.   
  
Morrigan: Oh, I hate these double up matches...   
Mai: Oooo.. poor baby! (sticks her thumbs in her ears and wiggles her fingers) Can't take on a REAL woman, can y--   
  
Morrigan outstretches a hand and transforms her fingers into long iron-like claws, and punctures Mai's remaining breast. She then smirks self-satisfactorily.   
  
Sofia: (chuckles to herself)   
Mai: ...ou.   
Morrigan: Oh, sorry... en guarde!   
Mai: Agh! I don't speak French! Oooooooo! Now I'm REEEEEEAAALLY ANGRY!   
  
Mai begins to glow a cherry blossom pink color.   
  
Joe: Oh, no, man! Not her, too! (sighs) Do we all do that?   
Billy: Oh, bloody hell...   
Krauser: How unfortunate.   
  
Mai: OKII MUNE HAZUMU!!   
Morrigan/Sofia: GASP! No, anything but that!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin flushes a scarlet color, but snickers a bit anyway.   
  
Hwoarang: ...dammit, I don't do Japanese! What was that?   
Jin: Just watch...   
Callie: ....   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Mai runs at Sofia and Morrigan, and to everyone's amazement, her boobs just seem to pop back out as if they were just in hibernation, and she proceeds to well... use her breasts! It's a left to Morrigan's cheek, a right to Sofia's stomach, a right to Morrigan's ribs, a left, right, left to Sofia's face. The barrage of her fast-moving chest attack, until her opponents are reeling.   
  
Mai stops and brings the fan up. Everything bounces.   
  
Mai: Nippon ichi! ^_^ V   
Sofia: (knocked out cold) ...   
Morrigan: Urgh... you may have one down... but... I had a defense planned for this...   
  
Morrigan unsteadily rises to her feet, slumped over in a weakened stance.   
  
Morrigan: Now... watch as I unveil... my victory!   
  
Morrigan thrusts herself triumphantly into the air and outstretches one arm, holding something that will guarantee her win. The sunlight catches the silvery circle just right, causing a light flare to spindle off it in a chain of diamonds. The entire audience gasps in awe, and Mai's eyes go wide as milk saucers.   
  
Mai: You... you wouldn't....!   
Morrigan: OH YES!! I would!! (cackles evilly and advances towards her)   
Mai: (backs away, shivering) No... no, please! Please, no!   
Morrigan: (wearing an insane look of deranged pleasure) Come, come... when you're older you'll start doing this if you can't afford surgery anyway...   
  
Mai lets out one last gurgled cry of "NO!" before Morrigan proceeds to pounce her and begin her work. Most of the men have to turn and cover their eyes to hide the tears, and the women (smaller chested ones, anyway) cheer on the Darkstalker.   
  
After a few seconds, the deed is done. Morrigan has duct-taped Mai's assets down. Permanently.   
  
Morrigan: (cackles) That's succubi duct-tape! You'll NEVER get it off!   
Mai: (sobbing uncontrollably) I, I can't go on! I give up! WAAAHH!   
  
Morrigan narrows her eyes, then looks up towards the booth with a predatory look.   
  
Morrigan: Now, to further my plan... with that wicked little writer half-unconscious from that mob of fan-girls I manipulated into coming here, I can take over her position and hang out all day with Jin and Hwoarang!   
  
Morrigan launches into the air, using her powerful wing-span to propel herself...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
...straight through the glass of the booth window.   
  
Jin: (shielding eyes from glass) Hey! You can't do that!   
Hwoarang: Yeah, really... you could have gotten glass in my hair, you psycho bitch!   
Callie: Ah... oh, no.   
Morrigan: (directs her gaze toward a dazed A-Chan) Now, you die...!   
  
Morrigan leaps into the air and turns one of her legs into a long sharp blade, and flies effortlessly towards the prone fanfic writer. However, without warning, there is a flash of some undistinguishable kind, almost like an instant of the room being shrouded in mist, and Morrigan's deadly assault only hits the cushioning of a chair's back.   
The succubus spins around immediately to search for her victim, but is suddenly knocked forward from a powerful crack on the back of her skull, delivered by a jumbo-size mallet. Before Morrigan can hit the ground, however, there's a blur of motion, and another hard hit from the mallet's handle in her stomach. She tries to spin to the side to avoid the invisible aggressor, but suddenly feels a hand against the back of her head. She lets out a small gasp.   
  
A-Chan: Bad move... nobody ever is dumb enough to attack the writer...   
  
There is a deafening sound not unlike the draining of air from a balloon as both Morrigan's - oh I can't think of any more words for them that are non-perverted! - things deflate. She is then shoved forward by A-Chan's hand resting on the back of her skull, and delivered straight out the booth's broken window from a flashingly quick round-house.   
  
Everyone stares at an obviously groggy A-Chan who is now dusting off her hands, and readjusting her microphone.   
  
Jin: (stares blankly at the two-second-ago weakened A-Chan) A-san, you... you just beat Morrigan...   
A-Chan: (yawns) I'm all powerful in these fics, Jin-chan... of course I did. ^_^   
Hwoarang: (eye twitches) But.. that means you won the match...   
Callie: (cracks up laughing, leaning over in her seat)   
A-Chan: (looks slightly annoyed) Yeah, so? I didn't wanna get smacked around, I had to...   
Jin: (exasperated) A-san! You just won the Battle of the Bust!   
A-Chan: .... Would you excuse me? I have to go lose my lunch.   
  
A-Chan shakily exits the room, one hand cradling her gurgling stomach.   
  
Jin: *sighs* Poor A-san, she tries so hard... It's a great honor to work with such a unique persona, don't you think? (looks happily at Hwoarang and Callie)   
Hwoarang: ...sounds to me like you got a thing for the writer.   
Jin: (frowns a little bit) A-san isn't like those other writers who pin up her favorite character with herself... She wouldn't do that to me, although (voice changes as if it was dubbed over) she is so attractive and I can't help but think what it would be like to be more than her co-host! (voice goes back to normal) You know what I mean?   
  
A-Chan is leaning against the door, snickering a bit.   
  
A-Chan: I'm a hypocrite, so sue me. ^_^ (spins around, fully recovered, and winks) Tune in next time folks, for the exciting Part 3! As always, feel free to tell us who should be facing off against who! Plus, even MORE co-hosts! Ja ne! 


	3. We Like Ice!

Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons!  
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!  
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan, Charlie, and Callie.. although she would argue differently!) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...  
  
  
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:   
Tournament Of The OverPopulated : PART 3!!  
  
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^  
  
  
  
  
In the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Welcome to Part 3! *takes out hanky and wipes her eyes* I.. can't believe we're already at a Part 3...!   
Jin: (sighs with content) We're not doing too badly!   
A-Chan: No, sir! (throws hanky over her shoulder) But enough talk about us! Let's talk about -   
Callie: Sex, bay-bee.   
A-Chan: Let's talk about you-and- --   
Hwoarang: Me! I'm one of the co-hosts, Hwoarang... I'm obviously the best looking one here...   
A-Chan: ... I'm A-Chan, *the* host!   
Hwoarang: Also the winner of "The Battle of the Bust"... *snickers*   
A-Chan: ...(gently hands Jin her mallet) You use that at your own discretion, Jin-chan.. I trust you...   
Jin: (blinks, takes the mallet and grins broadly) Okay... I'm Jin, A-Chan's first and foremost co-host... (lifts the mallet over his head and looks in a predatory-fashion at Hwoarang)   
Hwoarang: (sweatdrop) ... (gets up and backs away)   
Jin: May cause drowsiness...   
Hwoarang: No...!   
Jin: From this mallet..   
Hwoarang: You don't have to use that...!   
Jin: Because you're unconscious!! (brings the mallet down in a clean arc onto Hwoarang's head)   
Hwoarang: Ow! ...err... (eyes cross, and falls out of his chair unconcious)   
A-Chan: That was.. incredibly stupid.. too much Space Ghost..   
Jin: (sits down, smiling happily)   
Callie: ...do I say who I am now?   
A-Chan: Yes, ma'am!   
Callie: Uh.. I'm Callie... the.. other co-host. Right?   
A-Chan: Rrrrright! And we also have, as the tradition, two NEW hosts for you today! Tell 'em what they've won, Charlie!   
Charlie: (peeks out from behind the booth doors) Uh.. I don't know.. do they win anything?   
A-Chan: Have a seat! Prepare to meet your co-host!   
Charlie: (sweatdrops) I've... already met her... Amy, do you have a cro-bar?   
A-Chan/Jin/Callie: (blinks) A.. cro-bar?   
Charlie: (sighs and drags himself out from the doors, to reveal Julia Chang hanging off his leg)   
Julia: Oh, Charlie! We get to *host* together! ^_^   
Charlie: (sighs)   
Jin: Julia Chang?   
A-Chan: Yes, Julia..   
Hwoarang: (half-dazed, still) Julia-Goolia?   
Julia: (blinks and looks at Hwoarang and Jin) Oh, wow.. you guys are here, too...? (blushes and hops to her feet, dusting herself off) Ah heh.. I.. I had no idea...!   
Jin: ...I guess you must know Charlie pretty well... Charlie was it, right?   
Charlie: Oh, yeah.. nice to meet you! You're Jin, I have your action figure... ^^   
Jin: R-really? Wow! Someone who likes my action figures! Hey, A-Chan! Someone bought my action figures!   
A-Chan: (steaming) Well, well, don't blame ME!! I can't find them ANYWHERE!! Anywhere, do you hear me?!? (yanks Jin's ear to her mouth) Okay?!   
Jin: I, I didn't mean anything by it! x.-;   
A-Chan: Okay... well.. both of you, have your seats, and welcome to the crew!   
Hwoarang: (in well enough commission by now) Well.. (adjusts his collar smugly) Julia, he looks kinda young for you...   
Julia: (goes starch white) W-w-w-w-what do you mean, Hwoarang?!   
Hwoarang: (props his feet up on the front desk) Hangin' all over the guy like that... he just looks kinda young.. (looks at Charlie nonchalantly) How old are ya, pal?   
Charlie: Um... 16..   
Hwoarang: Ah.. and Julia.. you're 18? You go for younger men, huh?   
Julia: *Harrumph!* (latches onto Charlie's arm) At least Charlie is MATURE! Unlike you and your little spiky-headed friend!   
Jin: (blinks with a heart-broken look) Hey, I'm _nothing_ like him!   
Hwoarang: There go all those "Let's pin Julia up with Jin!" fanfics.. (grins)   
A-Chan: Thank GOD! (tears up all those fanfics) ...er.. ^_^; I didn't do that...   
Jin: Well, (puts up one index finger) She should technically hate my guts since her mother hates my grandfather, and my father, AND Ganryu who was my father's bodyguard!   
Hwoarang: (stares blankly)   
A-Chan: Well, Jin, I'll *always* like you! ^_^   
Jin: Erm.. thanks..? ^_^;;   
Callie: Can we get to the matches and start the show?   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Sho: ...why... me... (glowers)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Okay, to the first match! Callie?   
Callie: Ugh. (clears her throat, and assumes big manly announcer voice) Today, on Tournament of the Overpopulated, we will first go to the Maaaaaaaaatch... oooooooof--   
Jin: AAAHHH!! (does a spit-take)   
A-Chan: Jin-chan! What's wrong?!   
Jin: This is de-caf!! (looks forlornly at his cup of coffee) I fall asleep during these monotonous matches if my coffee isn't--   
Hwoarang: (smacks Jin on the back of his head) You ass! (scoffs)   
Jin: But it's truuuee!   
A-Chan: *sigh* (spins in her chair to face the door) Hey! Hey, you out there! Slaves!   
Morrigan, Sofia and Mai: (humbly scuttle in) Yeesss, Mistress of the Universe, A-Chan?   
A-Chan: Get us some strong coffee in here!   
Jin: And no de-caf! Thank you! ^_^   
Charlie: Oh! And ice, please!   
Hwoarang: And a sandwich!   
A-Chan: Say what?   
Hwoarang: (rolls his eyes) I want a sandwich, I said! _Get_me_a_sandwich_!   
Mai: I'm sorry, sir.. we don't serve sandwiches.. (scuttles out with her two companions to get coffee.. very caffeinated coffee)   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
The match has already begun, even though the contestants were unannounced. There is Ten Count, who is a King of Pop reject from Battle Arena Toshinden, who is smiling and waving to everyone out in the audience, leaning on his sword, and occasionally fingering his hat. His opponent is the ever fearsome Rugal, from the King of Fighters series. Why, you may ask? We don't know. We just think they both look so funny and act so funny - they deserve each other!   
  
Ten Count: (in a girly wavery voice) Well. I've never heard of you, you little jerk! I'm gonna beat you!   
Rugal: That is unlikely, you man with the funny hair that is quite grooving. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!   
  
Ten Count, being the Micheal Jackson wannabe that is he, is able to overlook the King of Fighters dialogue Rugal spews and prepares to decimate him. The match begins with thrusting forth the flatside of T.C.'s blade, but Rugal blocks it, and launches out with a mid-powerful kick, which T.C. deflects using his free hand. After a few minutes of this, everyone is quite bored.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: (completely caffeinated) And it's a punch.. and it's a kick! It's a sword slash! And a jab! And a spinning kick, and a scissors kick, and a left, right, left!   
Charlie: (bored sigh) At least he's entertained. We've had more interesting Tekken matches by just button-pressing... (goes back to trying to use the cro-bar to remove Julia from his arm)   
A-Chan: Hmm.. I wonder if this would be a good time to use this little thing-a-majig our sponsor gave to us...   
Callie: What is it?   
A-Chan: (takes out a very strange looking wand-like object) It's called a "Dance-O-Magic Wand". Whaddaya think?   
Jin: (looks over) I think I wanna know who our sponsor is that would give us that..   
A-Chan: Oh, Ben's Little Shop of Horrors and Party Supplies. Let's try it! Uh.. do I just.. (waves the wand around a little bit)   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
T.C. and Rugal both instantly stop and look at each other as the magic of the Dance-o-Magic Wand eminates throughout the arena. After a few seconds of tense silence, T.C. and Rugal's bodies begin to shake, at first for seemingly no reason at all, but quickly any veteran can spot the cause.   
They are clearly feeling the rythym.   
  
Ten Count: Oh.. the beat... I... I can feel it! Gotta... shake... my... butt...!   
Rugal: To me, this beat, it is heard also. And it makes me charge my dancing pants which prepare me to get down! WOOOO . . . .   
  
In the next few moments, the fight picks up to feverish pitch. T.C. does a double cartwheel over to Rugal, and leaps up into a mid-air somersault, curving down into a sharp kick. Rugal, however, easily wiggles back to avoid it, and delivers into a spinning backhand, which is met with the flat of T.C.'s sword. Fist and blade touching, the two circle each other (although it was meant as more of a docey-do), and Rugal is the first one to kick in this close range. T.C. bends his leg upward to take the force of the blow, and then both groove backwards from each other. Rugal spins, then grabs his crotch and shouts "WOOOOOO . . . !" He puts his other hand on the top of his head, tilting it forward, then points at T.C.. T.C. responds by spinning, then tapping forward with his right foot, then left foot, makes some weird "Uh.. yeah!" noises, spins counter-clockwise, does the hokey pokey, then stops and points at Rugal. Rugal, not to be upstaged, does two spins, taps both feet forward at the same time, and then backwards, does a Russian cossack dance, pirouettes, and handstands.   
  
Rugal: Pizza in the mo'nin', pizza in the evenin', pizza at suppatime! WOOOO . . .   
  
Rugal pauses and then points at T.C., flashing a winner's smile and a wink to assure his charisma. T.C., who normally would have gone into a dazzling dance spectacle, mistakes the 'winner's' smile for something else, however.   
  
Ten Count: Hey! Just 'cause I look like Micheal Jackson don't mean I'm into that!   
  
In the next moment, T.C. has tackled Rugal, and is pounding his head into the concrete. T.C.'s frail form drags the body up off the ground, Rugal clawing for ground and throws him into a nearby car. T.C. effortlessly scales to the top once Rugal is inside, and then looks around. He places one hand on his dumb little hat, then grabs his crotch shouting "OOOOOOOOOHHH!!" All the windows shatter, and Rugal, placed inside the car is lacerated into little pieces by the shattering windshield.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Well, wasn't that different! (puts away the wand) Keep in mind, I'll use that thing on you if you're ever bad..   
Jin: (gulps) Yes, ma'am..   
Charlie: (struggling with cro-bar) Get... off...!   
Hwoarang: Charlie, that won't work.. you'd need someone with a little curve for that cro-bar to latch onto. (grins)   
Charlie: W-w-w-w-w-what...?   
Jin: W-w-w-w-what...?   
A-Chan: Wow, Charlie, you stutter more than Jin...! (takes note in her handy, dandy... notebook!)   
Julia: (fuming) Whaddaya mean more form!? I'm... bodacious...!   
Hwoarang: The term 'bodacious' went out of style in the early 90's, just like the attractiveness of skinny little "Like a Virgin" Madonnas such as you with the coming of the 'Baby Got Back' era.   
Julia: How... how..!!!! Agh! YOOOUUUU...!!   
Hwoarang: And come on.. my main girl A-Chan over here got more curves than you!   
A-Chan/Julia: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!? (both tower up over Hwoarang in anime-style, flames spewing in the background)   
Hwoarang: (cowers, and tries to put on the charm) It... er.. hey! It was a compliment, Amy-babe! (checks his watch) You know... I have a tennis game... and--   
Julia: Hwoarang! How dare you compare my natural beauty to... to.. (looks at A-Chan with disgust) ...her?!   
Hwoarang: (mutters) Yeah, natural beauty like a tree trunk.. thick and parallel..   
A-Chan: Now.. (points at Julia) Let's back up... dare you scoff at me?   
Jin: (whimpers and hides under his desk) Oh, bad move, Julia-san...!   
Charlie: (follows Jin's example)   
Julia: Bad move, my butt! I mean.. (pats A-Chan on the back) No offense, A-Chan, but... it's obvious, isn't it? I'm so cute, and all.   
A-Chan: (laughs scornfully) Well. Why have I seen rulers with more curve to them? Hmm?   
Julia: (pauses) You wanna cross the line?   
A-Chan: You already crossed my line!   
Julia: Yeah?   
A-Chan: (narrows her eyes) Yeah!   
  
In the next instant, Jin and Hwoarang are trying with all their might to hold back a kicking and scratching A-Chan, and Charlie (who had begun to pull back Julia) is being glomped and cried all over.   
  
Julia: The bad meanie girl tried to hurt meeeeee...! Char-liiieeee..!   
A-Chan: Oh, just lemme get -- hands off! -- the stupid little -- lemme go, will ya?!   
Hwoarang: God, this is a rough day... yo, Callie, my ever-present sidekick! Go get me a sandwich.   
Callie: Uh. No.   
Hwoarang: I'm sorry... 'no' isn't in The Blood Talon's vocabulary..   
Jin: (mutters) There's a surprise.   
Callie: I think I'm gonna announce the next match... we're behind schedule.   
A-Chan: (calming down) Good God, Callie is taking initiative.. we need to get serious!   
  
Jin and Hwoarang set down A-Chan, who dusts herself off, and looks in the schedule book. She blinks a few times as everyone looks over her shoulder.   
  
A-Chan: Ah, crap. We've wasted forty-two minutes of time we don't have on talking amongst ourselves.   
Jin: (winces, then sips his coffee) Well, that's not good.   
A-Chan: That's not all. Whoever's in charge of scheduling matches this week forgot to schedule the other two.   
Charlie: (still working with that cro-bar) This stuff always happens during *MY* part of the story, doesn't it?   
A-Chan: Calm, oh, little Charlie... wrongs will be righted!   
Callie: Hey. Get me my monocle. I want to look rich.   
Hwoarang: (hands Callie her monocle)   
Callie: (blandly) Ah ha ha. Thank you jeeves, you old pashwah.   
A-Chan: (sighs) See now, folks.. this is what we call a dead storyline.   
Jin: (sips more of his coffee) Oh, no we don't! See (takes another sip) This whole big thing doesn't have a storyline.. therefore it obviously can't die if it never existed!   
A-Chan: Yes.. (rubs her temples) Thank you.. Jin... ..well.. I don't think there's much else we can do with Part 3, guys and gals.   
Hwoarang: (looks doubtfully at Julia) There's gals here?   
A-Chan: (sighs) Well, consider Callie and maybe I'm speaking in third person!   
Hwoarang: Oh. (smacks his forehead) Duh! Well, anyway, does this mean we can leave? I wanna get a sandwich.   
Jin: I'm in agreement to that!   
Charlie: Can I get a soda? With some ice? (yanks the cro-bar in vain)   
A-Chan: Oh.. sure! Let's go get sandwiches you guys!   
Everyone: Yay!   
Jin: Oh! Before we go! (signals for the camera to center on him) Remember, if there's a match we haven't done you want to see, tell us who we should feature! (the camera zooms back out, and Jin grabs his jacket as everyone stands to leave)   
  
(screen fades to static) 


	4. Karaoke is Fun

Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons!  
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!  
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan, Callie, Charlie and Amy... although they might disagree... they belong to meeeeee...) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...  
  
  
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:   
Tournament Of The OverPopulated : PART 4!!  
  
By A-Chan ^.^  
  
  
  
In the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Welcome everyone to Tournament of the Overpopulated!   
Jin: (waves hello while happily munching a ham on rye)   
Hwoarang: Man, sandwiches rule..   
Julia: Charliiieee do you want to share my sandwich with me?   
Charlie: Oh, God, please save me...! (pauses to eat some ice out of his soda cup)   
A-Chan: Just for introduction's sake, I'm A-Chan, the host! (snaps her fingers as a big neon sign over her chair starts flashing "2001 Battle of the Bust Winner")   
Jin: (sets down his sandwich) I'm Jin Kazama, faithful co-host and dedicated son! (hugs a picture of his mother, Jun)   
Hwoarang: He's also a huge dork! I'm Hwoarang, hands down, best looking color commentator and damn charismatic as well, if I don't say so myself!   
Jin: Please, don't say so at all.   
Callie: Uh. I'm Callie. ... Hi.   
Charlie: I'm Charlie, and if anyone who has a jaws of life is out there reading, please help me! (attempts to pry Julia off his arm)   
Julia: Oh, Charlie, you're so silly! (laughs) I'm Julia Chang, newest addition to the commentators!   
A-Chan: But not for long, because as usual, we have two, not one, but two new additions to our crew! Let's bring 'em out!   
  
Two spotlights lace down from the ceiling to point at opposite corners of the room, revealing the new co-hosts. One is a tall, dark-haired female, who waves enthusiastically, and then walks over to take her seat. It's none other than Amy Silva, another of A-Chan's friends! (Didn't see that coming!) The other is a silver-haired dumbo in a tux -- oh, excuse me! It's Lee ChaoLan, who also takes his seat.   
  
Jin: (groans) Not him! (tugs lightly on A-Chan's sleeve) Anyone but him!   
A-Chan: (shrugs meekly) There were no other even remotely cute Tekken guys, and I had to have Amy have a cute co-host...! (turns to Amy) How ya doin' tonight, Amy?   
Amy: (nods slightly) Good, good... you..?   
A-Chan: Great! Lee?   
Lee: (is busy admiring himself in the glass window screen)   
Amy: Hey! Dumbass! She's talking to you..   
Lee: (rolling his eyes) Be quiet, you pathetic sidekick... I'm the one running the show here.   
  
In the next instant, Lee has been walloped with the photograph of Jin's mom and is face down on the counter.   
  
Jin: I'm here to enforce no one claims supremacy over A-san! I'm a dedicated co-host and... (checks to make sure the photograph is okay, then looks back to Lee) And you can't run anything around here without her permission!   
A-Chan: (is smiling brighter than a fluorescent lightbulb) Hee hee hee.. ^_^ So! Shall we move on to our first match?   
Hwoarang: Ah, coach, lemme announce it!   
A-Chan: Well, okay, but only 'cause I like your little chain today.   
Hwoarang: (grins and fingers his chain necklace proudly) Well, thanks! I like it, too.   
Lee: (looks at Hwoarang's necklace and open shirt and makes a face) Ugh.. please, button your shirt, the pastiness is killing me..   
Hwoarang: (growls) Hey... asshole... are you the designated pretty boy around here? I don't think so.   
Lee: I'm clearly much more attractive than you, you little red-haired street rat!   
Hwoarang: Listen up, jack-ass, I will stop and drop you quicker than your career in fighting games.   
Lee: (laughs) Pardon me but did you just accuse me of being a wash-out?   
Hwoarang: I just accused you of being a bigger wash-out than that silver shit you call hair-dye! You wanna make something of it?   
Lee: Hey! This is NOT dye! It's natural, you little toe-rag! Besides, you're one to talk! You should be more worried about what people think of your crap-for-dye!   
Hwoarang: Well, if that's not dye, I think YOU should be more worried about the fact you've gone completely gray before 30!   
  
Lee, enraged by these insults, gets out of his chair and walks over to Hwoarang, folding his arms.   
  
Lee: Do you want to make something of this, you dirty jerk?   
Hwoarang: (stands up and shoves Lee) Maybe I do.   
Lee: AGH! It touched me! That's it! Let's go!   
  
At this point, Lee and Hwoarang get into one of the biggest baddest (if not most one-sided) fist fight ever seen in the booth! Lee, after trying a menagerie of punches and receiving back a whole barrage of punishment from Hwoarang, who is most experienced in these kind of fights, can hear Kazuya in his head saying "They won't work; the moves of one who does not believe in his ken." Hwoarang then grabs Lee's arm and twists it in a backwards arm-bar.   
  
Hwoarang: Give up, you little jack-ass, before I tear your @%#$in' arm off!   
Lee: (scrunches up his face and attempts to ignore the pain... one second later) Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow fine fine fine owww leggo leggooo-oh-hooo...!   
Hwoarang: (reluctantly lets go, and runs one hand through his hair) Psh. Not worth my time. (all the girls start clapping, and he takes a bow) Thank you, ladies!   
Lee: Ugh.. you girls don't know a real.. oof.. man... when you... argh... see one...! (passes out)   
Hwoarang: Geez.. I hate analogies, but real man is to Lee ChaoLan as real breasts is to Pamela Lee... (takes the cue card from A-Chan as he sits back down) O-kay! (looks at the card) The first match is one we like to call "The Battle of Britain: Revisited!" We know both these dudes are proud to represent their flag of jolly old England, but who will be waving the white flag after today? In the first corner, he's blue, he's bad-ass, and he plays a mean guitar, but how do you beat a zombie? He is...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A blue spotlight launches to one corner to show a skeleton-like faced blue dude in freaky rock-star clothes, the British flag proudly printed on one pant-leg, who takes a minute to pump out a jammin' riff on his guitar. Well duh, it's--   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang: Lord Raptor! (plays air guitar) This is gonna be sweet, dude.. I hope he uses the guitar in the match!   
Jin: (takes a sip of his coffee) That would take some of the monotony out of it.   
Hwoarang: Yup. Well, okay, other corner! Brandishing a mean prowess with his stick... (stops and stifles a laugh)   
Jin/Charlie: (both try not to laugh, and have to cover their mouth)   
A-Chan/Amy/Julia: Ugh... boys...   
Hwoarang: ...(snickers) which he is always beating... (pauses)   
Jin: (busts out laughing and has to cover his mouth again)   
Hwoarang: ...his opponents with--   
Charlie: Hehehe, stop, stop...!   
Hwoarang: --he is famed for just swinging his stick around all over the place like a madman!   
Jin/Charlie: (both crack up laughing, Jin banging his fist on the counter for mercy and Charlie clapping his hands)   
Hwoarang: Please clap yours hands together for the master bater--(coughs and laughs a little) excuse me, master beater!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A now very perturbed English man, leaning on a big red stick (no no not like that you pervert!!) sneers and tightens his bandana, which also brandishes the flag of Great Britain. Oh, poor easy-to-diss..   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang: Billy Kane!   
Jin: (gasping for air) Master... bater... heh... heh..   
A-Chan: (actually trying not to laugh, herself) Very cute, Hwoarang..   
Hwoarang: Heh, aren't I, though?   
Lee: That is dis-gus-ting... please... ring the bell!   
  
Lee once again finds himself hammered in the head, this time by the infamous Mishima School Textbook for Sneaky Excuses.   
  
Jin: Only A-Chan can signify to ring the bell, unless otherwise stated! Request denied! (sips his coffee and opens to Chapter 11: When Bad Tuxes Attack)   
A-Chan: Thank you, Jin! (clears her throat) Ring the bell!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Lord Raptor: All roight, you blimey masterbater! Heh.. I'm gonna tear you limb from limb!   
Billy Kane: Oi!! I am not a masterbater, you miserable lih'le sloimeball! Let's go to our weapons, eh?   
Lord Raptor: That's just fine wit' me, pally!   
  
Both opponents run to opposite corners of the arena, and the spectators get out their binoculars. Lord Raptor climbs into an old WWII style plane, with the British flag imprinted on the side. It is also equipped with a Pioneer stereo system, and twin laser cannons, and also a gatling gun on the back, although he would have to pause piloting to fire it. Billy Kane also has a WWII style plane, in the fashion of the Battle of Britain, and he puts on a pair of goggles and a scarf. His plane has an air-torpedo gun on either wing, and the same gatling gun fashioned on Lord Raptor's plane.   
  
Lord Raptor: Anchors away, baby! Yeeaaahh! (flips on the stereo system and rocks out to death metal)   
Billy Kane: That bloody fool... let's start this thing up!   
  
In the next few minutes, both planes have taken to the air. Billy Kane is the first one to take to the offense, pressing a button that fires off a torpedo off the left wing. Lord Raptor does a double take, and quickly dips his plane down. He looks over his shoulder to see Billy Kane's torpedo has missed.   
  
Lord Raptor: Ha! Whot, now, looks like you missed, pally-boy! (turns back around to see his plane coming up fast on the booth, everyone inside screaming)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang: No no no turn around turn around!! I'M TOO YOUNG AND GORGEOUS TO DIIIEE!!   
Jin: (covering his eyes) AHHHHHHHH!! MOMMMYYYYY!!   
Julia/Charlie: (clinging to each other, for once) AHHH!!   
Charlie: Man, I could really use some ice!!!!   
A-Chan: (hiding behind Jin) HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!! He's coming right for us!!   
Lee: (weeping like a woman) Don't let me die a virgin, AHHHHHH!!!   
Amy: (takes a hard right hook at Lee) I had to do this at least once before I die....!   
  
Down (or rather, up!) in the Arena:   
  
At the very last second, Lord Raptor pulls up on the controls, sending the plane up completely vertical, and missing the booth by a mere few feet. He then does a loop-the-loop and turn to send himself right side up again, and heading towards Billy. Billy fires off his other gun, and Lord Raptor simultaneously fires off both laser guns. One laser hit is right on, fraying Billy's right wing, and the other veering off into nothingness. However, the torpedo is also successful, smacking one of Lord Raptor's back tail flaps. The plane not only catches fire, but begins to spin in a circle.   
  
Lord Raptor: Bloody 'ell..   
Billy Kane: Ha! Now I'm goin' to finish you off!   
Lord Raptor: Well, I think not, oi?   
  
Out of nowhere, the fat little blobbie thing that plays Lord Raptor's drums appears from nowhere, and mans the gatling gun! The air is suddenly racked with the sound of flying bullets, most of which connect with the wings and tail flaps of Billy Kane's plane, tearing the fabric to pieces, and eventually, if you'll pardon the term, "banging him one" in the propeller! The plane crashes and burns quicker than a Vanilla Ice CD's sales!   
  
Lord Raptor: Lord Raptor rock on foreveeeeer!! (whips out his guitar and starts to play, as his little blob friend smacks out a beat on the gun)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Everyone is still recovering from the great scare they endured almost being crashed into.   
  
Charlie: Man... I thought I was going to wet myself...   
Lee: I did wet myself... will you all excuse me a moment to go change into some clean undies?   
Hwoarang: Oh, man, not only is he gray before 30, he's also already in need of adult diapers... Tsk, tsk.   
Amy: Well... at least we're all okay...   
A-Chan: Amen to that! And hey! We got to see one of the most innovative and exciting fights yet! (grins and nudges Jin) Admit it, you didn't need coffee to stay awake, huh, big guy?   
Jin: (shivering like a dry leaf in an autumn wind storm) N-n-n-no.. n-no.. no, I d-didn't...   
A-Chan: Aww poor Jin.. you want to break?   
Jin: (shakes head rapidly) No.. no no.. no.. I'm a big boy.. I'm not scared... I'm a big boy! (covers his face in his hands)   
Callie: Hey... this next match says--   
A-Chan: (smacks Callie) You are so insensitive! (hugs Jin) Can't you see Jin needs me right now...?   
Callie: ...bitch.   
Hwoarang: (checks his script papers) Sweet! Our final match is called "The Royal Rumble!" Is that like the big Pay-Per-View in the WWF? The WWF rules!   
Julia: Go figure a grunting, no-good male like you would enjoy watching other grunting, no-good males roll around in a ring spouting badly-scripted shmooze!   
A-Chan: Hey, don't insult my writing! Oh.. wait... (goes back to hugging Jin) ...never mind.   
Jin: The plane it was.. right towards the booth and it.. (covers his face again)   
Charlie: Poor Jin.. well... hey, Julia.. er.. (gives another push with the cro-bar) You want to announce the next match?   
Julia: (eyes light up) Ohhhh Charlie! (huggles his arm) I thought you'd never ask!   
Charlie: (sighs, and takes the cue card) Okay.. this next match is also known as The Fogey Fumble... ...hee hee hee hee hee..   
Julia: (looks over at the card) It is meant as a preview of the Royal Rumble, only it involves two older competitors, but as we all know, with age comes fighting prowess!   
Jin: (starting to recollect his wits) Unless you're Heihachi...   
A-Chan: That's right, Jin. (pats him on the shoulder)   
Julia: So, let's introduce our competitors! First, he's one-hundred and seven years old, but not slowing up in the least! In fact, he's quickening up, using his claws to cut through opponents! He is..   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
The first opponent stands at a very short height, a strange jester-like cap on, with Chinese attire. His large claw-weapons protrude from his baggy sleeves, and he manages to quietly scare the crap out of everyone in the arena with his froglike features, one eye looking left, and the other looking right. Well, you already know it's...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia: Fo of Battle Arena Toshinden!   
Amy: Wow... how freakish...   
Hwoarang: Or froggish, depending on your level of respect for old fogeys.   
Jin: Yes, or lack thereof..   
A-Chan: Okay.. Jin you gonna be okay?   
Jin: (nods) Hai, arigatou, A-san!   
A-Chan: Look at that, he feel so much better he's gone back to speaking Japanese! (claps) Excelente!   
Charlie: Okay, lemme announce the other one! The other opponent, with a weakness to whiskey and other types of alcohol is pushing it in years, but definitely not lacking in his fighting sprit! We are proud to introduce...   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
A short, Chinese man is seen guzzling out of a whiskey bottle. He has a tiny red cap, and red Chinese clothes, complete with the little slippers. As he puts down the whiskey bottle, he cracks his hip into place and then takes up his stance. Well, fry my hide, it's...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Charlie: Wang Jinrei of Tekken 2!   
Jin: Wow, too bad Ling Xiaoyu isn't here to see this..   
Hwoarang: Yeah, she could see exactly why she always loses her matches - 'cause her fighting style sucked two generations ago!   
Julia: Oooh, ouch... (scoffs) I don't like Xiaoyu, anyway... I'm much cuter!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Fo: I may be 107, but I can still kick your ass!   
Wang: You want a piece of me, you geezer?!   
Fo: That depends; am I going to end up bored?   
Wang: Well, I don't know - no one knows more about "Depends" than you!   
Fo: Hey... why you farty old.. you're gonna be goin' down, grandpa!   
Wang: Heh heh ho ho heh... hey, at least for an old guy, I'm still hip!   
Fo: The only "hip" about you is that thing you keep breaking!   
  
At this moment, Wang starts to run in for the first attack, and kicks up his right leg. There is a sick crack, his face contorts, and he falls to the ground.   
  
Wang: My hip.. ooohh..   
Fo: Hee hee heh! Toldja!   
  
Fo leaps into the air, and thrusts himself downward, wrenching his arm forward. There is again a crack, Fo crosses his eyes, and falls to the ground holding his elbow.   
  
Fo: Confarnit... my elbow...!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin has a disgusted look on his face, as does Hwoarang. A-Chan bites her fingernails, and then stands up and leaves the room. Jin blinks, looking after her.   
  
Jin: Wow, and I thought I was disgusted... A-san had to leave the room...   
  
A second later, however, A-Chan returns, dragging behind her a very large object, at least seven feet high, with something large and the back, and a platform in front. Everyone tilts their head to the side.   
  
A-Chan: Fear not, this match is no threat! (smiles brightly) I thought I should get something to entertain us poor commentators during it!   
Jin: Uh oh.. is it legal?   
A-Chan: Well of course.. (tears off the tarp to reveal... a karaoke machine! *trumpet fanfare*)   
Everyone: Oooo...   
Lee: Oh! Oh! Let me try it first! (shoves Amy out of the way and climbs the stage) Hit my muuuusic!   
  
Everyone's face falls as Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" music strikes up.   
  
Lee: (in girly bad voice) IIII'm too sexy for my shirt.. too sexy for my shirt, sooo sex-y it huuurts!   
Amy: (rolling up sleeves) In a second, it's gonna hurt even worse..   
  
Amy then, in a daring move, leaps onto the stage, tackles Lee and proceeds to beat the crap out of him while yelling "Are you too sexy for a beat-down?!" Strangely (or not so strangely) no one helps, and instead all start chanting "A-my A-my A-my A-my!" After Lee is bruised and bloodied and twitching in a heap on the karaoke stage, Amy dusts off her hands.   
  
Amy: That takes care of that... so... anyone wanna sing Shawn Michaels's theme with me?   
A-Chan: Oh, me me! (waves hand in the air)   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Both men are now being lifted on stretchers, and being prepared to leave the arena for medical treatment at an old people's home while being allowed to feast on apple sauce and Jell-O. However, it is not to be, as Wang begins to smack Fo from his place on the stretcher!   
  
Wang: Take that, ya old butthead!   
Fo: Grrr...!   
  
Fo claws one of Wang's EMT's who is holding up the stretcher, and one corner of it comes crashing down, Wang slipping down off his stretcher. Wang then kicks one foot out in a leg sweep, taking out one of Fo's EMT's. Both then begin to smack each other as they sit on the ground, partially disabled. Fo proceeds to smack Wang repeatedly with his claws over the head.   
  
Fo: Wee hee! I'm winning, I'm winning! Feel the sting of raw steel!   
Wang: Rrrrr... time for my super attack!   
Fo: What?! Gonna put the other side of your hip out, too?! Hee hee!   
  
Wang then suddenly grabs a bottle of brandy out of one of his billowing shirt sleeves, and pops the cap to take a swig. After downing the rest of his precious drink, he slams the bottle over Fo's jester-capped head.   
  
Fo: WAH!   
Wang: Heh hee heh!   
Fo: Grrrr... now you force my hand, junior!   
Wang: What are ya gonna do? Gimme a heart attack with the extent of your pathetic fighting style?! Heh heh!   
Fo: No, not with my fighting style...   
  
Fo then whips out an XXX spread of the three women originally involved in the Battle of the Bust. Wang clutches his heart, and topples backwards, stone cold.   
  
Fo: Tsh. Kids today! Get all excited over a little skin!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan and Amy: (slightly offtune, and doing the bunny hop) Seeee-xy booo-ooooy! I'm not yer boy toy! Boooo-oy tooo-oooy!   
Hwoarang: Now this is pretty scary..   
Jin: You get used to it.. A-san has a, er... unique! sense of humor.   
Callie: Why don't I have any lines?   
  
The music finally fades and A-Chan and Amy take their seat.   
  
Lee: Psh. I can take The Heartbreak Kid!   
Amy: (on natural reaction, sucker punches Lee) So, are we ready for the Royal Rumble..?   
A-Chan: NO! First, we have a very special presentation!   
Jin: (sweatdrops) A-san, NO!   
A-Chan: Oh, yes! Roll the footage!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Suddenly, on a large screen, a large picture of Roger Smith, from the Big O comes on the gamescreen.   
  
Roger: (Words flash across screen, reading Roger Smith, of show Big O) Hi! I'm Roger Smith. You may know me as the agent who initiates the Big O.   
  
Everyone laughs off-camera, and Roger slightly blushes.   
  
Roger: Not THAT Big O!! The machine! (he grumbles something under his breath, then puts his smile back on) Here at Pointy-Hair Club For Men, we like to help our members feel confident in themselves, even when their hair resembles a railroad spike!   
Cloud: (Words flash across the screen, reading Cloud Strife, of game Final Fantasy 7) (comes on screen with Tifa on one arm, and Aeris on the other) Thanks, Pointy-Hair Club For Men! Not only did you help me realize my whacky hairstyle is totally kickin' (he flashes a big shiny smile, with one little lens flare on it) but I can attract chicks! It also relieved me of my motion sickness! (gives a big cheesy thumbs up)   
Demitri: (Words flash across the screen, reading Demitri Maximoff, of game Darkstalkers) (shows a big toothy grin, with his butler standing next to him, holding a plate of drinks) Hel-lo! I ahm Demitri Max-hi-moff, and the Lord of the Vamp-hires! Ha, ha, ha! (he pauses to lightly pick up a drink, and take a sip) Ahh... Eet is thanks to the Pointy-Hair Club For Men that I ahm able to vear the rim of my cape down, and show off my point, rah-ther than hide it, and be ever-so self-con-shi-ous. Thank you, Pointy-Hair Club For Men! Blah!   
Jin: (Words flash across the screen, reading Jin Kazama, of game Tekken) (Jin looks very nervous, and is wearing a hooded raincoat) Um... hi... (looks around cautiuosly) I'm Jin Kazama.. and if I can be honest, since joining the Pointy-Hair Club For Men, I'm not feeling much more confident than I did before.. I mean they keep saying "Pointy is beautiful! Pointy is beautiful!" And really all it does is freak me ou--   
Roger: (screen returns to Roger) Sooo! If you are ashamed of your sharp 'do, maybe you should give us a call! (The number 1-800-PHC-RULZ appears on screen) And remember, I'm not just president... (he presses on his watch, and the next we see of him, he's in the huge cockpit of the Big O) I'm a member! (wink, wink)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: (triumphantly) See! See! See! Now I know where they got that picture of you for Tekken 4! Your cameo on the Pointy-Hair Cub ad!   
Jin: (burying face in hands) I am undone...   
Hwoarang: (getting fidgety) Can we see the match? Pleeaaaase?!   
A-Chan: Okay, okay.. so... big introduction!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
The lights dim, and spotlights of all different colors light the arena, complete with strobe effect, and balloons and streamers flying. A loud voice (Callie's, of course) announces..   
  
"And noooow... uhhhh-LEEEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUMB-LEEEEEEEEEEE!!"   
  
Reel To Reel's "I Like To Move It" starts up on the speakers, as the contestants strut out to ringside.   
  
"First... weighing in at 215 pounds, or at least that's what we think after translating the kilograms to pounds... iiiiiiiiiiiiit's KIIIIIIING the WREEEESTLEEEER!"   
"And his partner, weighing in at 267 pounds including his armor, King's trainer, AR-MOOOR KIIIIIIIIIIING!"   
"Their first opponent, weighing in at... ...she will not reveal her weight! The mistress of feminine manishness, KIIIIIIIIING of KING... OF.. FIGH-TEEEERS!"   
"And the final entry, the only one not named King, weighing in at a petite 112 pounds, she is the queen of her realm, QUEEEEEEEEEN... BEE!"   
  
All opponents face each other, and the lights finally return to normal. The crowd is pumped, and even the announcers are silent, on the edge of their seats for supposedly the most exciting match of this whole fic.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Mystery Man: BOOOGA BOOOGA BLAAAAHHH!!!   
  
Everyone shrieks as the Mystery Man leaps toward Jin, who is arguably the biggest threat to any intruder in the booth. The lights go out, and as screams and cries of alarm can still be heard, the fanfiction screen shakes then turns to static.   
  
  
  
Zoomo: Hello.. I am the magical Zoomo...! Weee kabong zap! If you would like to leave a message.. please e-mail Destiny_Sephiramy@yahoo.com or leave a review... tell us what you want to see.. tell us what you need to see... You can also go see cast and crew at http://destiny.nextnexus.net/writing/VS_cast.html Thank-uh you!(disappears in a puff of smoke) 


	5. Honey Mustard and Mullets

Summary: Basically - offbeat shenanigans when you put together WAAAAY too many fighting games and allow them to compete with each other for a myriad of odd reasons!  
Rated PG - PG-13 for mild language (oooh, bad!) and possible uncomfortable situations, if you catch my drift!  
Disclaimer: I don't own AAANNNYone in these stories (except, currently, myself, A-Chan, Callie, Charlie, Amy, Ben and sometimes Zia - but most of the time I own her too! HA HA HA HA HA!! HA HA!! Ha.. ha.. ...ha...) Everyone else is property of their respective companies and creators...  
  
  
  
  
Tekken VS Battle Arena Toshinden VS King Of Fighters VS Street Fighter VS Darkstalkers:   
Tournament Of The OverPopulated: PART 5!!  
  
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^  
(aka A-Chan)  
  
  
When we left our heroes, they were being attacked by a mystery-man.   
(Special Charlie-Cam recap)   
  
We see everything from Charlie's point of view. There is the glass of the booth window in front of him, and on the desktop you can see a big cup of ice.   
Julia's voice from the side: This match is going to be cool, huh, Charlie?   
Charlie: Oh, uh...   
  
The view shifts to show Julia plastered to Charlie's arm, snuggling his sweatshirt sleeve.   
  
Charlie: Can you see through my sweatshirt folds?   
  
A hand reaches out into the cup of ice and puts it into Charlie's mouth, as he turns back to the match. Suddenly, a bashing sound erupts from the back of the room, and the view violently shifts to show the booth door slamming wide open.   
  
Julia: AHHHHH!! Charlie!   
Hwoarang: What the #$@%?!   
  
A dark figure leaps out of the shadows, and the view shifts to show it jump on Jin, who turns around just in time to catch the main force of the ambush, as everyone continues to yell...   
  
A-Chan: Jin!!   
Charlie: Oh my God! Oh my God! Ice, ice, I need ice!   
Lee: Oh no, please, mother!   
  
...and as they yell, suddenly the power dies, and all the lights go out, leaving the booth shrouded in darkness.   
  
  
In the Booth:   
  
There are sounds of fighting from Jin and "Mystery Man" and everyone is still yelling and screaming and such. Suddenly, A-Chan gets an idea.   
  
A-Chan: Oh, duh! Writer's priveledges!   
  
Suddenly, all the lights flash back on in a brilliant spark, and Jin is shown holding a dark figure down onto the table with little effort. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.   
  
Hwoarang: All right, who is this asshole?!   
  
Jin grabs the intruder by the back of the jacket and forces him up to show his face, revealing...   
  
Charlie: Zoinks! It's Mr. Tigglewinks from the city bank!   
Hwoarang: Wait a second, that can't be him! (Hwoarang tugs off the mask to reveal...)   
Julia: Jinkies! It's Mildred O'Bargswath, the kindly old Irish woman who lived next door to the warehouse!   
A-Chan: Mildred O'Bargswath? No way! (A-Chan pulls off the mask to reveal...)   
Everyone: Holy Scooby Dooby, Batman! It's Ben!   
Ben: (sheepishly) Uhh.. heh heh... hey!   
  
Everyone groans, half in relief, and half in disdain.   
  
Hwoarang: Your newest host nearly bagged Kazama!   
Jin: (scoffs) Come on, he has to weigh a buck and a quarter, soaking wet, holding a brick! He couldn't have bagged me. (lightly sets Ben down and dusts off his shoulders, then smiles) ^_^ Sorry about all that. I think you scared me more than I scared you, though.   
  
Anna Williams then struts in through the door, and everyone stares wide-eyed in horror.   
  
Jin: ...A-san.... you didn't.   
A-Chan: Um... nope, sorry! ^_^; I did!   
  
Anna seductively fixes her hair, then sits down into a chair, crossing her legs.   
  
Anna: Hey, there, boys! New co-host in the house! *wink*   
  
Julia and Amy give A-Chan a dirty glare while the guys all sweatdrop and sit back down, averting their eyes. A-Chan looks from person to person then shrugs.   
  
A-Chan: Ben wanted a ho! And I mean.. she has a bitch slap! And the zebra print outfit complete with hat! The winning and opening of the match taunts! The--   
Jin: (claps one hand over A-Chan's mouth) You don't need to justify that she's a, er, 'lady of the evening', A-san... we know!   
  
Ben moves to go sit in his seat, but A-Chan looks and holds out a hand in a 'stop' gesture.   
  
A-Chan: Ben? Before you sit down...   
Ben: Huh?   
A-Chan: You know that you were off cue, right..?   
Ben: (grinning) Yes. ^_^ (quickly wipes the smile off his face) But I mean, look at his hair! So freakishly... pointy...!   
Jin: (makes a pouting face)   
Ben: He's a Pyramid Head, for sure! Or at least in calhoots with them!   
A-Chan: Well, I'm the writer, now... (grins even brighter) And I have full control over everything in this booth... in this arena.. in this fanfiction world!   
Ben: (rolls eyes, and makes a move to sit down) Then why didn't you just stop me from being off cue?   
A-Chan: (glowers)   
  
Ben sits down in his seat, but it falls over backwards, spilling him onto the linoleum floor, which he rolls across to smack into the far wall. Christian* and Ripperette** then beat his dazed body with mallets, but not before a big Dhali Lama glues a Dark Schneider-esque 80's mullet wig on his head and smothers him in honey mustard.   
A-Chan beams.   
  
Ripperette: (waves) Bye, onee-chan! (flashes a peace sign, and leads Christian by the hand out of the room)   
Christian: (singing) Chris-tian! Chriiis-tian!   
A-Chan: Bye, sis! Bye, Chrissy! ^_^ Thank you!   
  
The Dhali Lama doesn't leave; it sits cross-legged on the floor and meditates, making light "ohm" sounds and silently scaring the living hell out of everyone.   
  
Hwoarang: (points and snickers at Ben) Ha! You got a mullet, dude!   
Ben: Heey! It's not a REAL mullet! (grumbles and mutters as he straightens his chair and sits back down)   
Hwoarang: That's okay.. a mullet isn't a REAL hairstyle!   
Jin: It's more like a statement.   
Hwoarang: Yes.. the kind you stick on a wooden post in front of your trailor...   
Jin: ...and sit on the front step with your cowboy hat and leopard-print wearing honky wife...   
Hwoarang: ...and listen to her complain about the fact her mother told her never to marry an in-law when--   
Ben: OKAY, OKAY!! STOP!! (still muttering) WhyIoughtastupidredheadsonuvabitchthinksheknowseverything...   
Hwoarang: Hey, tiger, calm down! (slaps Ben on the shoulder, earning him a dirty look) Tell you what. We'll give you a sweet nickname... how about..   
Ben: ...not?   
Hwoarang: (chuckles) Oooh, no, I don't think so. (snaps) Got it! Mulleto.. strongest Mullet... (sweeps his arms wide in a grandeur gesture) ...in the world!!   
Jin: ...it has potential.   
Ben: ... -_-   
Callie: Match. NOW. (slams her fist on the table)   
A-Chan: Bleh, fine! (muttering) Ya little... (back in normal tone) Jin-kun!   
Jin: (turns to A-Chan) A-San?   
A-Chan: I don't think we've announced a match with each other since Part 1.   
Jin: (blinks) I do believe you're right, A-San. (smiles brightly) Shall we?   
A-Chan: Lets!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Everyone: What about the Royal Rumble?!   
King (KOF): We were about to have a match, here!   
King (Tekken): Rrowl! Yeah!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: ... (sighs) I guess another day, Jin-kun.   
Jin: All righty. Then on to the Royal Rumble!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
King (KOF): Now we show you the power of women!   
Armor King: Heh heh heh! You don't look much like a woman to me!   
King (KOF): Grr.. shut your mouth!   
  
King runs at Armor King, and leaps into the air, launching into a high aerial kick. Armor King easily slides out of the way, securing himself behind King. He wraps his arms around her waist, and executes a perfect German suplex, nailing King into the mat. However, as he goes to get up, Q. Bee launches a swarm of bees from a large honeycomb. Armor King swipes a forearm at them, most splatting harmlessly into the armored covering, the rest scattering upon impact on his heavily armored shoulders.   
  
King (Tekken): Har! Time for some interference!   
  
King, ya know, the cat-head one, dives into the fray, tackling Q. Bee to the ground, proceeding to deliver repeated punches to the face. King, the female one, has now clambered to her feet, and begins to aim high kicks for Armor King's face, each one caught skillfully by the wrestler, and forced back upon her in quick succession. Q. Bee finally shoves King (the other one, dude!) off of her, and launches upward into a flying kick, her wings fluttering furiously. Her heel lands into King's (cat-head {I'm sick of labeling}) chin, and he stumbles back, regaining just in time to catch her other foot sailing in toward his right cheek. He grabs out for her other foot, and catches it, delivering her into a helicopter spin, tossing her unceremoniously to the ground.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang is going nuts, shouting obscene comments to the would-be wrestling match, as everyone else stays mostly silent. A-Chan entertains herself by a magazine full of Edge photographs.   
  
Hwoarang: Yeah! Yeah! Kick him in the head! Powerbomb, powerbomb!   
Jin: (rubbing his temple with one hand) Go figure an idiot like Hwoarang would be into professional wrestling...   
A-Chan: (blinks a few times, then quietly slides the WWF Raw magazine under the desk, innocently tapping her fingers on the booth desk)   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Armor King suddenly jabs out with a left hand, knocking King (the girl, ya know) to the ground, and goes for a pinfall. The referree begins to count it, but Q. Bee catches the scene out of the corner of her eye. She lands a hard knee into King's stomach, and then dives onto Armor King, breaking up the count at two.   
  
Q. Bee: Victory!   
Armor King: Grrr... dammit, bee!   
  
Q. Bee gets shoved off of Armor King's back with a quick flick of his shoulder, and he lifts King (the woman!) by the hair.   
  
King (KOF): Grr.. damn you, cat-man!   
  
Armor King blinks and lets go as she shoots one fist into his stomach, followed by her crying out and clutching her hand, as it is never a smart idea to punch someone in armor. She stumble/dances away, cursing herself and holding her hand. Armor King places his hands on his hips and begins to laugh, when Q. Bee runs up and latches onto him from the back, clawing at his cat mask/face/thing/whatever.   
  
Armor King: ARGH! My face.. I mean mask... my thing.. whatever!   
  
Armor King lunges back, grabs Q. Bee by the antennae, and throws her over his head. She regains her balance mid-air, and fluttering her wings furiously, charges in back towards the armored opponent. However, she stops short and sweatdrops as King grabs her foot from behind, using her own momentum to swing her to the side. He grins a toothy smile, and goes to shake Armor King's hand/paw/yeah, sure. However, in pin-ball fashion, Q. Bee propells into a ring-rope, and slingshots back to the handshaking pair, bowling both of them over in a tangle of armor, leopard print and bee-stripes.   
  
King (KOF): Ha! (she flexes her hand a few times for good measure) Here we go!   
  
King (it's a lay-dee) now rejoins the fray, hitting a low sweep kick on Armor King, more as a taunt to the downed warrior than anything else.   
  
King (KOF): Come on! Get up!   
  
Armor King: Grrr... damn you, woman! I mean.. man!   
  
Armor King pushes up to his feet, only to have a solid kick delivered into his muzzle. Q. Bee, in the meantime, is attempting to stick her stinger into a vulnerable King (the, er, cat one) who is dodging around helplessly. It looks as if things are over for the wrestling duo, when suddenly, a figure emerges from the backstage area!   
  
Josh: haha... I'm a head... whoohoo!   
  
Josh's head bounces out to the ringside, and sings a little song while happily jiggling around. The referree looks on, stunned. King, being a professional wrestler, immediately takes advantage of the situation. He flashes a large grin as he searches around under the ring apron.   
  
Q. Bee: Come on, ya big scaredy cat! (she flutters her wings irritatedly)   
  
King finally finds what he wants, and pulls it out from beneath the ring.   
Everyone gasps, including those in the booth.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang: Oh my God! Oh my God!   
Jin: My God! In nearly one year in this business I have never seen anything like this!   
Callie: Damn him. Damn him straight to hell. My God.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
King (cat... man..) slides back into the ring, and before Q. Bee can react, he brings the steel chair he had snuck from under the ring smashing over her head, denting the seat. He then runs over, and while the referree is still watching Josh's head singing and "dancing", he clocks King (the female! Not himself!) over the head, as well. He thumbs-ups to Armor King, and both of them hook their opponent's legs and go for the cover.   
  
Armor King: Yo! Ref! REF!   
  
The ref turns around, and the whole audience begins to boo as he drops to begin the count.   
  
1!   
2!   
3!   
  
The whole crowd erupts into boos and chants of "You suck!" as King and Armor King support each other on the way out of the ring, grinning about how they won the match in typical professional wrestling style. Yup.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang: My God, come Monday night, there is gonna be hell to pay, Kings!   
Jin: You... ugh... -_-;   
  
Jin is about to say something insulting to his red-haired nemesis, but everyone instead pauses to reguard Amy, who hasn't seemed to have shot off many insults at Lee that night. They are all surprised to see Amy is scribbling something on a paper, continually getting mad and then scratching it out, crumpling the paper, and tossing it into a waste basket. She then starts from scratch, deepening her frown.   
  
A-Chan: (blinks) Amy, what's wrong?   
Amy: I don't know... I have this bad case of writer's block...   
A-Chan: (screams and leaps into Jin's lap, wrapping her hands around his broad shoulders) WRITER'S BLOCK!? Not in my booth!   
Jin: (wide-eyed) No! Not Writer's Block!   
Hwoarang: Holy shit! AGH!   
  
Everyone except Amy goes into a frenzy, running in little circles and leaving Amy with an odd deja vu feeling, highly reminded of the "*gasp!* Not in our flower bed!" scene from Disney's Alice in Wonderland. A-Chan is, amazingly, the first to calm down.   
  
A-Chan: All right, you creatively-blocked big butt book slut! How dare you bring your infectious harlotting into this clean environment of free-flowing verse?   
Amy: Huh...? What the hell?...   
Jin: What kind of filthy book-whore would bring LTD's into your booth, A-san?!   
Amy: ...LTD's...?   
Everyone (but Amy): LITERARY TRANSMITTED DISEASES!!   
A-Chan: Amy... I think you've overstayed your welcome, you noxious pile of writer's diseases...   
Amy: Come on, now... this is ridiculous...   
A-Chan: There's only one cure for Writer's Block, the most dreaded disease in the creative world..!   
  
Suddenly, a very large six-ton block falls on top of Amy, muffling her cry with a wet, echoing thud. The block is labelled with a sticker reading "Do Not Open Til X-Mas" on it.   
  
A-Chan: (clambers back to her chair off of Jin's lap) How ironic that another form of block cures Writer's Block...   
Charlie: Kind of like the irony that the alien thing in Godzilla 2000 dies the day after it wakes up from like, a million years of sleep?   
Jin: Along that line.. (scribbles "Don't Open EVER" on a post-it note, then slaps it on the block)   
Lee: Posh! I am playing second fiddle.. (glares disdainfully at the block surrounded by a rather wide circumference of pressure-splattered gore that was Amy Silva) to a block?!   
Ben: (shrugs) The guy has a point. I'd feel dumb if I was playing a fiddle to a block, too.   
  
Everyone pauses and looks at Ben.   
  
Ben: (raises an eyebrow, then glowers at Lee) Hey, you can't play the fiddle! ...can you?   
  
The booth is silent, the only motion to shake a head or sigh.   
  
Ben: 'Cause, yeah.. if you can play the fiddle, I don't see ya showin' it...!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Sho: (sniffles a bit as he levels a gun barrel to his head)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang fwaps Ben upside the head slightly, and opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly falls silent.   
  
A-Chan: (blinks) What is it, Hwoa-kun?   
Hwoarang: I was just thinking... (a gunshot is heard in the distance) ..if I wanted a match, could I be in one?   
Julia: Nope! I read aaaaall of A-Chan's rules - once you're up here, you're out of competition!   
A-Chan: (blinks in surprise that Julia read the rules) Wow... Julia-chan, I'm surprised you actually read all those pages of rules and regulations of my Tournament!   
Julia: (smiles) I try not to cross the boss, ya know?   
Charlie: (sighs) Not since Part 3, anyway.   
Julia: (laughs nervously and elbows Charlie in the ribs with her arm that is already entwined with his) Of course, not, Charles!   
Hwoarang: (snickers) Charles...?   
  
Jin, in the meantime, raises an eyebrow, then turns to A-Chan.   
  
Jin: I couldn't be in a match, A-san?   
A-Chan: Jin-kun, I'd expect you of all people to have read the rules...   
Jin: Well.. I thought.. since you know.. I'm your favorite.. (he scratches the back of his head with a hopeful grin)   
A-Chan: ...were you thinking of fighting Hwoarang?   
  
Hwoarang grins excitedly at the prospect, but the smile is stolen from his face by Jin's outburst.   
  
Jin: And waste my time?! NO! I already know I'm better than him!   
  
As Jin continues, Charlie, Lee, Ben, and even Callie hold back a growling and cursing Hwoarang.   
  
Jin: I want to fight... (dramatic pause) ...ROGER SMITH!!   
  
There is a gasp from everyone in the booth.   
  
A-Chan: Jin-kun, I know he has a horrible English seiyuu, and all, but...   
Jin: How do you think I felt when I turned on the TV, and to my blind horror, there's some guy trying to do his hair like me.. (Jin tears a homemade dart-board picture of Roger Smith from under the desk and holds it up with a grimace) ...with disastrous results?! The fact his English voice has the drone of a 1950's infomercial only adds to the insult! (he hangs his head in shame, covering his eyes with a forearm) It's too much for a modern fighting game school-boy to bear...!   
  
There is a pause as everyone tries to digest what has just been said, from the normally placid Jin.   
  
A-Chan: (slowly) Jin-kun... you know I'd like to let you have the match... but--   
Jin: A-san! You know I could beat Roger Smith!   
A-Chan: ...well...   
  
Jin gives A-Chan the big puppy eye face, and Hwoarang gags in the back, choking out "Writer's pet!".   
A-Chan: I'll think about it. ^_^ In the meantime, Callie - get announcing!   
Callie: (in her manly announcer voice) The following match is a requested match by one of the many fans of the Tournament - the cutesy battle! The first opponent follows in the footsteps of her counter self, only sporting a shorter haircut, cuter countenance, and flatter chest, less shapely hips and--   
  
Callie is suddenly knocked out of her chair with an "OOF!" by a large bat plushie.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Lillith "harrumphs" and folds her arms over her chest, scrunching up her face in a pout.   
  
Lillith: I'm just as shapely as anyone else! You're one to talk, with your double A-cup! Hmph!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang is poking at Callie with a bored expression.   
  
Hwoarang: Hey. Co-host. You have to announce the other person.   
Jin: You could be a little less cold - she is nuts about you, Hwoarang.. er.. in her own.. apathetic.. way...   
Hwoarang: Yeah, yeah, yeah. As if your partner isn't nuts about you?   
  
Jin and A-Chan blush.   
  
Jin / A-Chan: That is NOT true, Hwoarang! (both pause and look at each other with a blink)   
Callie: (slowly regaining her wits, she talks while still floored on the ground) The second opponent is hailing from China, a lively high school student who loooooves roller coasters, (Hwoarang picks up her chair with her still in it, setting it up so she is right-side up once more) and working off all the greasy, oftentimes fattening Chinese food she wolfs down like a horse and--   
  
Callie is suddenly pegged by panda plushie, and with a mighty "ARGH!" she is once again flattened onto the floor.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Ling Xiaoyu "harrumphs" and places her hands adamantly on her hips with a scowl.   
  
Xiaoyu: I do NOT wolf down food like a horse! How rude of you! At least I'd never degrade myself by hosting with someone like Hwoarang!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Hwoarang: (with eyebrow raised) What the hell is she talking about? Doesn't everyone want me as their co-host?   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiaoyu: Ew-w-ww! Hosting with Hwoarang?! I'd rather do a week's worth of math homework! (she pauses and smiles dreamily) I'd want to host with... with.. (she shyly traces a heart with her toe in the ground) ...Jin-sama...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan spits out the Pepsi she had been drinking and goes into a coughing fit. Hwoarang growls something under his breath.   
  
Jin: A-san? A-san, what is it?   
Charlie: (while dipping into a cup of ice with one hand, he is working the other with the cro-bar against Julia's iron grip on his arm) I think she choked, is all...   
Ben: That's for sure.   
  
Ben is suddenly tossed out of his chair and sent sprawling across the linoleum again, earning an angry glower from A-Chan, still red in the face from the coughing (and embarassment).   
  
Lee: I have just thought of something.   
  
Everyone turns to Lee, and reguards him (for once).   
  
Lee: Where is Anna?   
  
Over in Paul's Hotel Room:   
  
Paul: Uhhh. How much is this? (he fumbles through his wallet, his pockets inside-out and dollar bills scattering all over)   
Anna: ...tell you what, sweetie. I'll put it on your tab.   
Paul: Oh, mmkay! Kickin'!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: Er, who cares! ^_^;; Let's start the match, shall we?   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiayou: Yay! Time to win!   
  
Xiayou looks up to the booth, and waves to everyone, taking careful measures to bat her eyelashes at Jin. However, Jin sits right next to Charlie, and Julia miscalculates the direction of her batting eyelashes... and wink.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan and Julia narrow their eyes, and A-Chan motions Julia over to her. Julia gets up and walks over, Charlie thunking on the ground as she drags him with her.   
  
A-Chan: We cannot have this Xiaslut stealing our co-hosts. Especially not with how... (looks at Charlie with a brow raised) ...how... er... Jin... help...   
Jin: (whispers) Enamored? Smitten? Dumbstruck? Taken? ...Attached?   
A-Chan: ATTACHED! Especially not with how attached Charlie is to you!   
Charlie: ...whaaaa? -_-   
  
Julia and A-Chan begin to whisper, much to Jin and Charlie's horror, as the match begins.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiayou waves her hand about in a taunt to Lillith, who flutters her wings irritatedly. She leaps into the air, and then sweeps in toward Xiayou, with her foot poised for a kick. Xiayou nimbly catches her foot, and deflects her to the side. However, the commentary says differently.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia: My gosh, A-Chan! Even a kindergartener could dodge that kick!   
A-Chan: Xiayou took that one right in the chubby cheeks!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiayou: H-huh?   
  
As Xiayou is distracted by the announcing, Lillith leaps up from the ground, and delivers a real kick into the side of Xiayou's face, right with the high heel. Xiayou back-pedals a bit, but immediately regains herself, getting her hands up in time for a block against Lillith's punch. She then shoves Lillith off of her and leaps into the air, flipping over Lillith's head, to land cleanly behind her. The nimble Chinese fighter brings her foot up into a kick, still facing away from the opponent. Lillith is pegged in the small of the back, but spins around, then pauses to reguard commentary.   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia: How could Xiayou use such a second - dare I say - third-rate move against an opponent as seasoned as Lillith?   
A-Chan: Really, Julia! The professionals around here gotta be scoffing at that one!   
Julia: Yeah... professionals like, I dunno... (her gaze wanders next to A-Chan) ..like Jin?   
A-Chan: Hmm.. I would say so.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiayou looks completely broken.   
  
Xiayou: W.... whaaa...? (eyes tear up)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia: AND! I'll bet the hardcore martial arts fans like... I dunno... CHARLIE!! (lifts Charlie up by the cheeks, causing him to make a pucker face) I'll bet they're disappointed, too!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiayou: (scoff) Why would I care what that little geeky guy thinks?   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia's eyes narrow, and a red, flaming aura surrounds here, as the other hosts stare on in terror.   
  
Julia: What... did.. she.. call.. my.. Charlie...?!   
A-Chan: A... a geeky...   
Jin: ...guy...   
Julia: The bitch will pay.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Lillith is now dominating the battle, using her sharp blade-like transformations to keep Xiayou dodging every hit, with no option to block as she doesn't want to get cut. Xiayou is continually pushed towards the edge of the arena's battlefield, and close to the gong which started earlier matches. Finally, Xiayou is pushed against the gong with nowhere to go. Lillith dives into a somersault kick, with her leg transforming into a wicked sickle. With no other options, Xiayou dives to the right, Lillith's "leg" bangs into the gong, the sound reverberating throughout the arena. Xiayou snickers as Lillith vibrates back and forth with the repercussions of the hit. The lucky school-girl then moves to take advantage of the fight, but...   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia: AH-HA!! The gong is run, and the winner iiiiiis... LILLITH AENSLAND!!   
  
In the Booth and Arena:   
  
Everyone: Huuuuuh??!!?   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Julia: Looks like security will have to cart off Xiayou and lock her up in a broom closet and dress her in a hospital gown while whipping her with licorice sticks and making her watch the scene in Bambi where the mother dies for all eternity because of that horrible performance she put on in the match, which is clearly not allowed (she whips out the rule-book and points at it frantically) according to the official rules of Tournament of the Overpopulated!   
  
In the Booth and Arena:   
  
The whole populace of this fanfiction, A-Chan included, seems stunned. Everyone stares at A-Chan expectedly, waiting to see if she'll agree with this ridiculous rule that no one really believes was in the rule book (mostly because if it was, it would have been performed several times already.)   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
A-Chan: (stares blankly for a few seconds) Uh. Right, Julia-chan, whatever you say.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Lillith begins to cheer wildly, as a large portion of security is disbatched into the arena.   
  
Lillith: Yay! I wiiiiin! Er. Although I'm really not sure how. (scratches her head)   
Xiayou: Wait! Wait, this isn't fair! (she looks up to the booth in desperation) Jin-sama!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin blinks. A-Chan scowls.   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Xiayou: (as security picks her up and begins to drag her off) Save me, Jin-sama! If you love me... even a little...!   
Joe (Fatal Fury): Whoa. Total deja vu, man.   
Andy (Fatal Fury): (looks worriedly at his brother, Terry, who he fears is having Sulia flashbacks)   
Terry (Fatal Fury): (talking to some new blue-haired girl) So, hey, baby, you aren't in to, like, dying or anything, are you? 'Cause if you aren't... (smile smile wink wink)   
Fatal Fury Cast: (sigh)   
Xiayou: PLEASE! JIN! DON'T LET THEM DO THIS TO ME! *sniffle* Don't you remember what we meant to each other!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
Jin: (blinks, confused) We meant something to each other?   
Hwoarang: (elbows Jin with an annoyed look) Remember that time she asked you to dinner? And she acted 'strange' the whole night at the restaurant you picked out?   
Jin: (blinks again) Yeah.   
Hwoarang: That was a date, you dumbass!   
Jin: A-ah! It was?! (Jin looks at Hwoarang wild-eyed) How come no one told me?!   
  
Everyone urks and slams their head on the desk.   
  
Hwoarang: A-babe, you still want to chase this numbskull?   
A-Chan: I am not chasing Jin!   
Hwoarang: Yes, you are!   
Julia: Hwoarang, don't mess with The Most Dangerous Sports Announcing Tandem To Ever Dawn A Set Of Headphones!!   
  
Everyone stares blankly at Julia.   
  
Julia: ....The Most Dangerous Sports Announcing Tandem To Ever Dawn A Set Of Headphones... A-Chan, and I!   
Hwoarang: Is this like a gang war, or what?   
  
A-Chan, after thinking about this new potential partnership, smiles brightly, and points an accusatory finger at Hwoarang.   
  
A-Chan: How DARE you argue with me, non-member of the true following!   
Julia: Yeah!   
A-Chan / Julia: Dare you tangle with TMDSATTEDASOH!!   
Hwoarang: I never tangle with something that has more letters in its name than I can count...   
Jin: (smirking) You mean except for me.   
Hwoarang: ...why you..! (makes a move as if he were to lunge at Jin, who just continues to flash that Mishima-smirk, as Charlie, Lee, Callie and A-Chan hold back Hwoarang)   
Ben: Huh? Wait, I don't get it...   
  
Everyone sighs.   
  
Hwoarang: Well, whatever! (grabs Charlie by the arm and gets up, Charlie making an 'urk!' sound as he is dragged to his feet.) Chuck and I are gonna petition your dumb rule! (lightly elbows Charlie) Aren't we, Chuck?   
Charlie: I... er?   
Ben: OH! (leaps from his seat) Me, too!   
  
They all look at Jin.   
  
Hwoarang: (grinning) Come on, Kazama. Don't ya wanna fight Roger Smith?   
  
Jin fidgets, then gives A-Chan the same look a puppy gives when it knows it's in trouble. A-Chan solemnly shakes her head, causing Jin to sigh. Much to the delight of the three other men holding the petition, he begrudgingly gets out of his seat and slinks over to join them.   
  
A-Chan / Julia: (narrow their eyes and fold their arms)   
Julia: (looking at Charlie) Oooohh you are SO busted, honey!   
  
Down in the Arena:   
  
Everyone: Can we get to the last match and finish this crap?!   
  
Back in the Booth:   
  
The boys all exit out of the booth, Jin and Charlie giving a sad backwards glance before being dragged out by Hwoarang and Ben.   
  
Julia: Weeeee! We can make whatever matches we want, now, right? There's only three of us...   
Callie: We should have a pudding match.   
  
A-Chan and Julia both blink and look at Callie.   
  
A-Chan / Julia: A WHAT?!   
Lee: Mmm... pudding...   
  
Suddenly, Hwoarang busts in, grabs Lee by the arm, and drags him out of the booth, much to everyone's dismay.   
  
In the Hallway:   
  
Lee blinks and looks around, as Hwoarang shoves him away. Lee folds his arms, and taps one foot, looking from one man to another.   
  
Jin: (nervously, and not really wanting to talk to Lee) Er..   
Lee: (arches eyebrow) Well...?   
Jin: Uh... hello.. that's a good way to start things.. Hello!   
Jin/Hwoarang/Ben/Charlie: Yes... hello! (all look at each other, looking a little aggitated, and look away)   
Hwoarang: (folding his arms uncomfortably) So, uh... Lee... (looks around with caution) You're familiar with our idea: the one about the match being open-ended so anyone can enter.. including announcers..   
Ben: (still trying to remove mullet wig) Yeah... I wanna enter, dammit!   
Hwoarang: We need more support. We didn't really want to ask you, but since... the girls (rolls eyes) won't let us, we were thinking of starting a petition... would you support our idea?   
  
Lee suddenly reaches out and clasps Hwoarang's hands, smiling dreamily (and very scarily).   
  
Lee: You had me at 'hello'!   
  
Everyone: (scared silence)   
  
Back in the Booth   
  
Anna has reappeared from wherever she was, and is now arguing a mean streak with TMDSATTEDASOH.   
  
Anna: Oooh ho ho ho! These girls are nothing compared to me! I'm so curved and luscious and--   
Julia: Yeah, and you won't shut up either! Be quiet, slut...   
Anna: What?! (stands up) How dare you call me a slut!   
A-Chan: Yeah, Julia! How dare you call that ho a slut!   
  
As everyone continued to bicker, Callie shakes her head in sadness.   
  
Callie: This is chaos. (pauses, then looks out at the audience) Hey, you. Yeah. You. You want to help right this horrible wrong? Well stay tuned. Because I'm sure something dumb will happen in Part 6. In the meantime, if you want, tell us what matches you want by mailing A-Chan, or leaving a clever review, and tell her the opponents. See you in Part 6.   
  
Lights all fade to black.   
  
  
  
  
A/N: Don't you hate these cliff-hanger endings?! Man, I can't believe I'm pushing 20,000 words on this thing o_O; Maybe that's why no one reads it.. eh heh... Well feel free to leave some reviews or flame me or whatever because, as we all know, I LOVE FLAMES! Wait.. no.. no, I mean reviews! I love reviews! Plus I'm really really running out of ideas for matches. Please take pity on me.. 


End file.
